


Ohana

by J_Antebellum



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Baby, F/F, USWNT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-03-05 13:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18829933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_Antebellum/pseuds/J_Antebellum
Summary: It's 2021, and Ashlyn and Ali have their first child. Follows the first week of them as parents, and then series of small stories, so it's like many one-shots divided in chapters and organised chronologically. Hope you enjoy!





	1. The beginning of an era

 

**Chapter 1: The beginning of an era.**

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Ashlyn's eyes widened at her wife's cursing, but she wasn't about to say anything, not when she knew her wife was in a kind of pain beyond comprehension. At 37, Ali was about to deliver their first ever child, and it was convenient for Ashlyn not to piss her off.

“You're doing so well Alex,” Debra Christopher, Ali's mother, was saying. She tenderly brushed the hair away from Ali's forehead with a damp little towel, cleaning her reddened face off sweat.

Ashlyn looked at her hand to ensure it was still there, because she had stopped feeling it about an hour before, as Ali continued to squeeze it with a kind of energy and strength that had her knuckles white and made Ashlyn wonder whether her wife was wasting more energy on killing her hand than giving birth. But again, she wasn't so stupid to voice her thoughts knowing they'd get her to sleep on the sofa for the first time in a relationship that was almost eleven years old.

“Deep breaths Ali, he's almost here,” the OB/GYN sitting in front of Ali's parted legs was saying. “I can see his head, just one big push and that'll be out. Once his shoulders come out, the rest will swiftly slide.”

The former defender's face showed a sudden determination as she nodded a little, that it made Ashlyn chuckle proudly, knowing her warrior wasn't about to give-up, under any circumstance in the world. She looked up at Ashlyn, who nodded and leaned to kiss her cheek.

“Whenever you're ready, warrior,” Ashlyn encouraged.

It was a long push that had Ali's face contracted in a level of pain that twisted the goalkeeper's stomach, but then her face relaxed as she let a long breath out and, with a baby's cry echoing in the room, flopped back in bed, her dark wavy hair long enough to reach a bit below her elbows, yet currently in a loose low ponytail for comfort. Ashlyn looked down and saw their son being held by the doctor, covered in blood and other liquids, and whining and crying a little while curling into a ball, as if he had been too stretched to his own comfort.

“Congratulations,” the doctor beamed at them, “as expected, it's a boy!” Ali smiled tiredly, closing her eyes, and a nurse encouraged Ashlyn, who was still quite shocked, to come and cut the cord. Ashlyn took the scissors with a shaky hand a cut their son's umbilical chord just as the placenta was pushed out of Ali's vagina. Their son was momentarily presented to Ali, who smiled and kissed his cheek despite the amount of disgusting stuff covering him, and had time to caress his head a little before he was whisked away by a nurse.

“Stay with him,” Ali told Ashlyn in a tone that admitted no arguing. “I want you glued to his hip.”

Ashlyn nodded and accompanied the nurse who was now holding her son, aside so he could be cleaned, get a nappy on, and be wrapped in the blanket Ashlyn and Ali had brought, a soft plaid cotton one, light blue and white.

“Oh, don't cry love, it's okay,” the nurse smiled kindly at the boy, rubbing with a towel his dark mane of fuzzy hair as he whined and opened his eyes looking desperate. Ashlyn smiled, moving her fingers as if saying hello to him. “Oh, look at that, eyes opened already!”

“We've always been quite the curious people in this family,” Ashlyn said, her heart melting already as the shock passed a little. The nurse grinned and after wrapping the boy like a taco, she handed him to Ashlyn, who with her experience as an aunty had no problem holding him right, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his forehead softly, as she gently rocked him so his whining stopped. “Hello, my love. I'm Mommy. And that pretty brunette who kissed you before was Mama. Welcome to the world, sweetie.” She spoke very tenderly, extending the thumb of the hand with which she cradled his head to rub soothing circles on his reddened cheek.

“We're all done here,” the doctor said then, having fixed Ali up properly and with the nurse having changed the sheets, so when Ashlyn turned around she saw her wife lying on the bed perfectly tucked under the covers, with a new, clean gown already on, and looking at her with an expectant tired smile while Debbie sat on the verge of the bed smiling at her as well. As if all of this hadn't required close to a year of extensive planning and hard work.

Ashlyn walked over to her wife, who pushed herself to sit up a little, even though the upper part of the bed was already curved upwards to have her almost sitting up against at least four big pillows. Ali smiled and extended her arms greedily, and Ashlyn sat on the verge of the bed facing her and her mother-in-law before carefully handing their son over.

“Hi,” Ali beamed so big at their son, that Ashlyn felt her heart physically skip a beat. “Hi sunshine,” she said again, pulling him closer against her chest and leaning back against the pillows, staring in awe, “look at those big dark eyes, you want to meet everybody, right? This is Grandma Deb, and I'm your Mama, see? You're so handsome, my boy...” she kissed him again, nuzzling him close as he stared in awe. “Oh, he's got two dimples!” she then realized, grinning at Ashlyn in surprise.

“Really?” Ashlyn leaned closer and saw that it was true; when their son made certain expressions, and he was already full of them, a dimple showed in each side. She grinned showing her own left dimple, while her father had a right dimple, so seemingly her son had inherited both. “You're such a cutie, son.” The word _son_ remained in her taste, tickling her tongue pleasantly.

“He truly is beautiful,” Debbie had an arm around her daughter and smiled at her first grandchild. “Look at all that dark hair, and that cute nose!”

“Perfect,” Ali found one of the tiny hands coming out of the blanket and kissed it softly, leaning forward. “I love you so much already.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn cupped Ali's cheek. “Hey, well done Mama. That was so badass.”

“Thanks,” Ali smirked and Ashlyn leaned to kiss her, which was welcomed. As they looked back down, their son was experimenting with his tongue and covering his face in drool, and Ali sniggered as she cleaned it with her hand without a shade of disgust, kissing his cheek soundly. “You are going to be so spoiled...”

The nurses then asked if it was okay to move them to Ali's private room, and they agreed, so Ali was wheeled away, with her mother and wife following. Ali cradled their newest family member and as soon as they got into the new room, the nurses helped Ali with the first nursing, during which Ashlyn texted their family and friends to let them know the birth had gone all right and both mama and son were doing great. Afterwards, their baby fell asleep, and with news that most of their family was in the waiting room, Ashlyn opened the door for them and welcomed her parents Mike and Tammye, her older brother Christopher, her paternal and closest grandparents, Curtis and Eunice, and then her in-laws, Kenneth, Ali's Dad, and her big brother Kyle. Ali's step-parents would meet the baby on another occasion.

“Aw, most handsome boy,” Ken smiled at his first grandchild and leaned to kiss his daughter's cheek, “congratulations, love. And to you too.” He added, smiling at Ashlyn over his shoulder.

“Thanks, Dad. Nana, want to hold him?” Ali offered Grandma Eunice. Ashlyn had barely gotten minutes with her own son, and their own parents and brothers had gotten no holding time yet, but it meant a lot to everyone that Ali offered the privilege to Eunice first.

Eunice, who in twenty days would be 88, meaning she shared birthday month with her very first great-grandchild, was incredibly close to Ashlyn, Christopher, and their two cousins in the Harris side. Curtis was their only living grandfather left and also very close and loved, but with Eunice there was an special, motherly relationship, as she had taken particular care of Ashlyn and Christopher when their own parents struggled so much and worked so many hours they barely had time for their children. The relationship was so close that Ashlyn frequently lived with her grandparents in Palm Bay, a twenty minute car-ride from Satellite Beach, whenever she lived away because of work, and on occasion, Eunice had bought her granddaughter underwear. Ali was thankful the woman was young for a great-grandmother, because she was dreading her death, which she knew would be devastating once the day came. Ali herself had grown a close relationship with Eunice, whose blessing had always mattered more to Ashlyn than anyone else's opinions on her life. She was the one she wanted to make proud the hardest, and Eunice, her fiercest fan.

More than touched, Eunice accepted the offer and Ashlyn led her to sit comfortably on the armchair the room had, and helped her son into her grandmother's arms.

“Oh, he's so perfect,” Eunice grinned, kissing his cheek. “And he's got two dimples!”

“Really, Mum?” Mike, in a reaction that mirrored his daughter's previous one, rushed to see. “You're right! Aw, he's adorable.” He caressed the fuzzy hair softly. “Reminds me of Christopher as a baby.”

“My nephew is handsomer,” Christopher replied, taking photos with her phone. “You're looking so photogenic, Nana!”

“How's my great-grandson called, ladies?” Eunice asked the new mothers with a beaming smile. Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a soft smile before Ali answered.

“Finley Robert Krieger-Harris. We liked Finley, that means fair and warrior, which also adds-up, and Robert's Dad's middle name and my late grandfather's name.” She added smiling at her Dad.

“Such a pretty name for a pretty boy,” Eunice opined happily. Ken grinned at his daughter and nodded in agreement.

“Well, I'm just going to sit here and drool all over,” Kyle declared, his professional camera already getting much use.

The family remained there for a few hours, Kyle vlogged, and the baby passed from arm to arm before returning to Ali for a second feeding and then finally put in the small hospital crib to rest in peace while Ali finally succumbed to exhaustion and Ashlyn tucked her in bed. It was by then nearing noon of August 9th, and it had been seven hours since Finley was born, after eleven hours of active labour, so both mothers were rather exhausted, and at this point Ashlyn was running on adrenaline and coffee, that their family had been providing, along with food for Ashlyn since Ali received a full lunch at the hospital before falling asleep.

Eventually, Christopher drove his grandparents home for lunch and also went to his own house, because he had married early in Spring to Eliana, his Argentinian girlfriend of four years, and he had soon left her pregnant, so now she was two and a half months along, and she worked long shifts as a nurse, so he liked to be home to take care of her when she arrived from work. He was whipped as hell, but no one could blame him, because everyone adored Eliana, who they called Ellie for short. Even Ashlyn, who was the hardest to convince that anyone was good enough for her brother, had to admit Ellie was quite fantastic. Potterheard nerd, devoted nurse, loved children and although a disaster in the kitchen, loved surfing, was organized and clean, adventurous, and adored Christopher in a way that could be seen in her eyes every time she looked at him. And according to Christopher, his Argentinian family treated him like he had always belonged to the family, which was a nice plus.

Since Mike and Tammye took Debbie, Kyle and Ken for lunch somewhere they knew that was good in the area, the mothers were left alone with their son at last, and Ashlyn allowed herself to close her eyes while her hand rested inside the crib, cupping Finley's big feet. She threw her head back against Ali's pillows and wrapped an arm around her shoulders while the brunette head rested on her shoulder, snoring softly, but she remained somewhat alert. She wondered if this was how life was going to be now, constantly alert and unable to let her guard down for five seconds, but in that moment she didn't care too much. All she knew was that she was a mother now, and it was completely incredible.

Surprising herself, Ashlyn ended-up falling asleep, and woke-up a few hours later as Ali was breastfeeding again and everyone was watching North Carolina Courage vs Portland Thorns on the room's TV at the lowest possible volume, so it was only a murmur.

“Morning,” Ali joked smiling at Ashlyn and leaning to kiss her. “Slept well?”

“Yeah, you?” Ashlyn stretched her neck, that in truth hurt a little, and reinforced her wrap around her tiny family.

“Yeah. Look how cute...” the former defender was staring at their son as if he put all the stars in the sky. He had a bit of a pentagonal face, with a ball-chin and big cheeks, and was still reddened from the efforts of birth. His dimples showed intermittently as he sucked on Ali's nipple with devotion, and his little red lips stained with milk while his hands gripped Ali's boob lightly, with the long fingers flexing a little.

His eyebrows were already pretty present, and Finley's eyelashes were already pretty long and dark, so his face was nicely framed, while his eyes opening slightly revealed an odd dark colour that would, with time, transform into a more specific colour.

“He truly is great,” Ashlyn pressed her lips against Ali's head and caressed Finley's hair. “Can't believe we finally did this. How does it feel?” she added, motioning to Finley's sucking.

“Oh, it's okay,” Ali then leaned to Ashlyn's ear. “Bit like when we do it.” Ashlyn blushed to her hairline and Ali laughed lightly, caressing Finley lovingly.

Oh, they were in for a lot of fun.

  
  


**Chapter 1: The beginning of an era.**

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Ashlyn's eyes widened at her wife's cursing, but she wasn't about to say anything, not when she knew her wife was in a kind of pain beyond comprehension. At 37, Ali was about to deliver their first ever child, and it was convenient for Ashlyn not to piss her off.

“You're doing so well Alex,” Debra Christopher, Ali's mother, was saying. She tenderly brushed the hair away from Ali's forehead with a damp little towel, cleaning her reddened face off sweat.

Ashlyn looked at her hand to ensure it was still there, because she had stopped feeling it about an hour before, as Ali continued to squeeze it with a kind of energy and strength that had her knuckles white and made Ashlyn wonder whether her wife was wasting more energy on killing her hand than giving birth. But again, she wasn't so stupid to voice her thoughts knowing they'd get her to sleep on the sofa for the first time in a relationship that was almost eleven years old.

“Deep breaths Ali, he's almost here,” the OB/GYN sitting in front of Ali's parted legs was saying. “I can see his head, just one big push and that'll be out. Once his shoulders come out, the rest will swiftly slide.”

The former defender's face showed a sudden determination as she nodded a little, that it made Ashlyn chuckle proudly, knowing her warrior wasn't about to give-up, under any circumstance in the world. She looked up at Ashlyn, who nodded and leaned to kiss her cheek.

“Whenever you're ready, warrior,” Ashlyn encouraged.

It was a long push that had Ali's face contracted in a level of pain that twisted the goalkeeper's stomach, but then her face relaxed as she let a long breath out and, with a baby's cry echoing in the room, flopped back in bed, her dark wavy hair long enough to reach a bit below her elbows, yet currently in a loose low ponytail for comfort. Ashlyn looked down and saw their son being held by the doctor, covered in blood and other liquids, and whining and crying a little while curling into a ball, as if he had been too stretched to his own comfort.

“Congratulations,” the doctor beamed at them, “as expected, it's a boy!” Ali smiled tiredly, closing her eyes, and a nurse encouraged Ashlyn, who was still quite shocked, to come and cut the cord. Ashlyn took the scissors with a shaky hand a cut their son's umbilical chord just as the placenta was pushed out of Ali's vagina. Their son was momentarily presented to Ali, who smiled and kissed his cheek despite the amount of disgusting stuff covering him, and had time to caress his head a little before he was whisked away by a nurse.

“Stay with him,” Ali told Ashlyn in a tone that admitted no arguing. “I want you glued to his hip.”

Ashlyn nodded and accompanied the nurse who was now holding her son, aside so he could be cleaned, get a nappy on, and be wrapped in the blanket Ashlyn and Ali had brought, a soft plaid cotton one, light blue and white.

“Oh, don't cry love, it's okay,” the nurse smiled kindly at the boy, rubbing with a towel his dark mane of fuzzy hair as he whined and opened his eyes looking desperate. Ashlyn smiled, moving her fingers as if saying hello to him. “Oh, look at that, eyes opened already!”

“We've always been quite the curious people in this family,” Ashlyn said, her heart melting already as the shock passed a little. The nurse grinned and after wrapping the boy like a taco, she handed him to Ashlyn, who with her experience as an aunty had no problem holding him right, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his forehead softly, as she gently rocked him so his whining stopped. “Hello, my love. I'm Mommy. And that pretty brunette who kissed you before was Mama. Welcome to the world, sweetie.” She spoke very tenderly, extending the thumb of the hand with which she cradled his head to rub soothing circles on his reddened cheek.

“We're all done here,” the doctor said then, having fixed Ali up properly and with the nurse having changed the sheets, so when Ashlyn turned around she saw her wife lying on the bed perfectly tucked under the covers, with a new, clean gown already on, and looking at her with an expectant tired smile while Debbie sat on the verge of the bed smiling at her as well. As if all of this hadn't required close to a year of extensive planning and hard work.

Ashlyn walked over to her wife, who pushed herself to sit up a little, even though the upper part of the bed was already curved upwards to have her almost sitting up against at least four big pillows. Ali smiled and extended her arms greedily, and Ashlyn sat on the verge of the bed facing her and her mother-in-law before carefully handing their son over.

“Hi,” Ali beamed so big at their son, that Ashlyn felt her heart physically skip a beat. “Hi sunshine,” she said again, pulling him closer against her chest and leaning back against the pillows, staring in awe, “look at those big dark eyes, you want to meet everybody, right? This is Grandma Deb, and I'm your Mama, see? You're so handsome, my boy...” she kissed him again, nuzzling him close as he stared in awe. “Oh, he's got two dimples!” she then realized, grinning at Ashlyn in surprise.

“Really?” Ashlyn leaned closer and saw that it was true; when their son made certain expressions, and he was already full of them, a dimple showed in each side. She grinned showing her own left dimple, while her father had a right dimple, so seemingly her son had inherited both. “You're such a cutie, son.” The word _son_ remained in her taste, tickling her tongue pleasantly.

“He truly is beautiful,” Debbie had an arm around her daughter and smiled at her first grandchild. “Look at all that dark hair, and that cute nose!”

“Perfect,” Ali found one of the tiny hands coming out of the blanket and kissed it softly, leaning forward. “I love you so much already.”

“Me too,” Ashlyn cupped Ali's cheek. “Hey, well done Mama. That was so badass.”

“Thanks,” Ali smirked and Ashlyn leaned to kiss her, which was welcomed. As they looked back down, their son was experimenting with his tongue and covering his face in drool, and Ali sniggered as she cleaned it with her hand without a shade of disgust, kissing his cheek soundly. “You are going to be so spoiled...”

The nurses then asked if it was okay to move them to Ali's private room, and they agreed, so Ali was wheeled away, with her mother and wife following. Ali cradled their newest family member and as soon as they got into the new room, the nurses helped Ali with the first nursing, during which Ashlyn texted their family and friends to let them know the birth had gone all right and both mama and son were doing great. Afterwards, their baby fell asleep, and with news that most of their family was in the waiting room, Ashlyn opened the door for them and welcomed her parents Mike and Tammye, her older brother Christopher, her paternal and closest grandparents, Curtis and Eunice, and then her in-laws, Kenneth, Ali's Dad, and her big brother Kyle. Ali's step-parents would meet the baby on another occasion.

“Aw, most handsome boy,” Ken smiled at his first grandchild and leaned to kiss his daughter's cheek, “congratulations, love. And to you too.” He added, smiling at Ashlyn over his shoulder.

“Thanks, Dad. Nana, want to hold him?” Ali offered Grandma Eunice. Ashlyn had barely gotten minutes with her own son, and their own parents and brothers had gotten no holding time yet, but it meant a lot to everyone that Ali offered the privilege to Eunice first.

Eunice, who in twenty days would be 88, meaning she shared birthday month with her very first great-grandchild, was incredibly close to Ashlyn, Christopher, and their two cousins in the Harris side. Curtis was their only living grandfather left and also very close and loved, but with Eunice there was an special, motherly relationship, as she had taken particular care of Ashlyn and Christopher when their own parents struggled so much and worked so many hours they barely had time for their children. The relationship was so close that Ashlyn frequently lived with her grandparents in Palm Bay, a twenty minute car-ride from Satellite Beach, whenever she lived away because of work, and on occasion, Eunice had bought her granddaughter underwear. Ali was thankful the woman was young for a great-grandmother, because she was dreading her death, which she knew would be devastating once the day came. Ali herself had grown a close relationship with Eunice, whose blessing had always mattered more to Ashlyn than anyone else's opinions on her life. She was the one she wanted to make proud the hardest, and Eunice, her fiercest fan.

More than touched, Eunice accepted the offer and Ashlyn led her to sit comfortably on the armchair the room had, and helped her son into her grandmother's arms.

“Oh, he's so perfect,” Eunice grinned, kissing his cheek. “And he's got two dimples!”

“Really, Mum?” Mike, in a reaction that mirrored his daughter's previous one, rushed to see. “You're right! Aw, he's adorable.” He caressed the fuzzy hair softly. “Reminds me of Christopher as a baby.”

“My nephew is handsomer,” Christopher replied, taking photos with her phone. “You're looking so photogenic, Nana!”

“How's my great-grandson called, ladies?” Eunice asked the new mothers with a beaming smile. Ali and Ashlyn exchanged a soft smile before Ali answered.

“Finley Robert Krieger-Harris. We liked Finley, that means fair and warrior, which also adds-up, and Robert's Dad's middle name and my late grandfather's name.” She added smiling at her Dad.

“Such a pretty name for a pretty boy,” Eunice opined happily. Ken grinned at his daughter and nodded in agreement.

“Well, I'm just going to sit here and drool all over,” Kyle declared, his professional camera already getting much use.

The family remained there for a few hours, Kyle vlogged, and the baby passed from arm to arm before returning to Ali for a second feeding and then finally put in the small hospital crib to rest in peace while Ali finally succumbed to exhaustion and Ashlyn tucked her in bed. It was by then nearing noon of August 9th, and it had been seven hours since Finley was born, after eleven hours of active labour, so both mothers were rather exhausted, and at this point Ashlyn was running on adrenaline and coffee, that their family had been providing, along with food for Ashlyn since Ali received a full lunch at the hospital before falling asleep.

Eventually, Christopher drove his grandparents home for lunch and also went to his own house, because he had married early in Spring to Eliana, his Argentinian girlfriend of four years, and he had soon left her pregnant, so now she was two and a half months along, and she worked long shifts as a nurse, so he liked to be home to take care of her when she arrived from work. He was whipped as hell, but no one could blame him, because everyone adored Eliana, who they called Ellie for short. Even Ashlyn, who was the hardest to convince that anyone was good enough for her brother, had to admit Ellie was quite fantastic. Potterheard nerd, devoted nurse, loved children and although a disaster in the kitchen, loved surfing, was organized and clean, adventurous, and adored Christopher in a way that could be seen in her eyes every time she looked at him. And according to Christopher, his Argentinian family treated him like he had always belonged to the family, which was a nice plus.

Since Mike and Tammye took Debbie, Kyle and Ken for lunch somewhere they knew that was good in the area, the mothers were left alone with their son at last, and Ashlyn allowed herself to close her eyes while her hand rested inside the crib, cupping Finley's big feet. She threw her head back against Ali's pillows and wrapped an arm around her shoulders while the brunette head rested on her shoulder, snoring softly, but she remained somewhat alert. She wondered if this was how life was going to be now, constantly alert and unable to let her guard down for five seconds, but in that moment she didn't care too much. All she knew was that she was a mother now, and it was completely incredible.

Surprising herself, Ashlyn ended-up falling asleep, and woke-up a few hours later as Ali was breastfeeding again and everyone was watching North Carolina Courage vs Portland Thorns on the room's TV at the lowest possible volume, so it was only a murmur.

“Morning,” Ali joked smiling at Ashlyn and leaning to kiss her. “Slept well?”

“Yeah, you?” Ashlyn stretched her neck, that in truth hurt a little, and reinforced her wrap around her tiny family.

“Yeah. Look how cute...” the former defender was staring at their son as if he put all the stars in the sky. He had a bit of a pentagonal face, with a ball-chin and big cheeks, and was still reddened from the efforts of birth. His dimples showed intermittently as he sucked on Ali's nipple with devotion, and his little red lips stained with milk while his hands gripped Ali's boob lightly, with the long fingers flexing a little.

His eyebrows were already pretty present, and Finley's eyelashes were already pretty long and dark, so his face was nicely framed, while his eyes opening slightly revealed an odd dark colour that would, with time, transform into a more specific colour.

“He truly is great,” Ashlyn pressed her lips against Ali's head and caressed Finley's hair. “Can't believe we finally did this. How does it feel?” she added, motioning to Finley's sucking.

“Oh, it's okay,” Ali then leaned to Ashlyn's ear. “Bit like when we do it.” Ashlyn blushed to her hairline and Ali laughed lightly, caressing Finley lovingly.

Oh, they were in for a lot of fun.

  
  


 


	2. Dreams and adjustments

**Chapter 2: Dreams and adjustments.**

In the evening, the doctor did a last check-up of both Ali and Finley and determined they were good to go, discharging them. Ashlyn helped Ali get ready and put a sleeveless onesie pyjama on Finley that said 'Boys will be ~~boys~~ : kind, respectful, loving', along with a sharks beanie, little white mittens and shark socks, securing him in his car chair gently before tucking his plaid blanket over him as he slept. With her family already waiting home save for Kyle, she let Ali hold onto her strong arm for extra support and took the baby in his chair in the other hand, while Kyle took the bags, to put it all in the car, secure the baby chair, and head home.

Once home, their big dog Logan understandably ran for them, but Ashlyn stopped her firmly commanding her to sit.

“Good girl Logan, stay,” Ashlyn lowered the baby chair carefully to show the dog the sleeping baby boy. “Come meet your baby brother, sweetie.” Ashlyn squatted with one hand on Logan and another on her son just in case she needed to separate the both, but there was no need to worry. While Kyle filmed with his phone, Logan started wagging her tail a lot and smelled Finley before giving him a small lick that was enough to remove his beanie and get his little hair up, making Finley frown a little and them giggle. “Okay buddy, calm down a little.”

Ashlyn cleaned Finley with a wet towel, and carried the chair inside with Logan alternating between running after and jumping on Ali's legs and licking her, as if she knew who had just done the miracle.

“I'm so tired, I'm just going to head to bed,” said Ali with an arm wrapped around her belly, still walking a little odd as she got used to not walking with a huge belly with the weight of a child inside.

“Okay, want him with you?” Ashlyn asked softly wrapping an arm around her and kissing her cheek.

“Just in his crib near me, that'd be cool.”

Ever caring, Ashlyn helped her wife get into comfortable soft pyjamas, tucked her in bed, and, swaddling Finley as she had learned watching countless youtube videos over 9 months and going to the preparation classes, she tucked him in the crib right next to Ali's bedside. She decided she needed a nap too, and since their family was home to take care of things she decided to spoon her wife lovingly as Ali cuddled as close as possible to their son.

“I'm so proud of you,” Ashlyn whispered, kissing her back as she wrapped her arms around her, “you're such an inspiration.” Ali smiled sleepy, interlacing her fingers with Ashlyn's over her belly.

“Just keeping up with you.”

When Ashlyn next woke-up, she was surprised to find it was dinner time and Ali, although asleep, had a hand between the crib bars, resting inside the crib next to Finley, who was starting to stretch a little in his swaddle, and was looking around with curious eyes.

“Woah buddy, not hungry?” Ashlyn inquired surprised, smiling a little as she rubbed her eyes. She still felt in disbelief, but her chest was just so full she had even gotten glassy eyes a little with Ali during the first few hours with Finley at the hospital. She was just so happy, as this was her dream come true.

Feeling hungry, she stretched in bed and kissed Ali softly before getting up. Ali was a little swollen and her face was rounder, so she looked extra cute as she snuggled forming a ball. Ashlyn stared momentarily before walking over to Finley and picking him up, hugging him and kissing the top of his head, removing the beanie and caressing his super soft, thin wavy hair.

“What?” Ali murmured, opening her eyes as she somehow sensed Finley wasn't within her arm's reach. Ashlyn smiled kindly at her and sat on the feet of the bed. “Is he hungry?”

“No, he's fine,” Ashlyn said, keeping him close. “But it's our dinner time. What do you say if I change his nappy, that he may have filled with pee, and we eat properly?”

“Actually, it's not a bad idea at all,” Ali looked at him in such way suddenly, that Ashlyn found it moving. It was a mixture of love, tenderness and loveliness, and her eyes seemed a little bright.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Ali smiled, “you two just look like my best dream.”

“Well, we're team dimple, I mean...” Ashlyn joked smugly. “Careful not to drool, you know?” Ali guffawed, throwing her head back.

“Oh my God, leave!” she said jokingly.

Their family took turns to hold Finley while they had dinner together as a bigger family, and both Ali and Finley were incredibly spoiled. Ashlyn lived to be a devoted wife and mother, and could be one moment attending Logan so she wouldn't feel lonely to the next giving Ali a feet rub and telling her how gorgeous she looked. Ali nursed Finley while they all sat on the sofa to enjoy the night a little, and then Ashlyn's parents left to head back to Satellite, which was an hour and a half drive. Before leaving, they cooed over their grandson, kissed him profusely, and also the mothers, and promised to be back the next day in the afternoon, as soon as they were off work, as it would be a Tuesday. Debbie had the summer free because she was a teacher, so she would stay with them for the summer holidays, in one of their guest rooms, to help them adapt to motherhood, while Kyle also had holidays and would occupy the remaining guest room. Ken, on the other hand, had work, so he had asked for a week off at work to spend time with his family and was staying in the studio, where they had a sofa that became a bed. Ashlyn's family, living so close, could just pop in and out anytime.

“Okay, this is really nice,” Ali murmured later as everyone went to bed and she and Ashlyn lied in bed against a bunch of pillows, Ali snuggled on her side with her arms around Ashlyn while the younger woman checked her phone, since they had neglected communications for a whole day and Ashlyn still worked.

She had just returned from national camp in July, and as Ali neared her due date, Ashlyn had asked to go on maternity leave a week before due date and agreed that they'd discuss how to proceed after Finley was born. Ashlyn was lucky that she was very valued in the Pride, being its face. Alex Morgan had marched to join her husband in her native California once LA had developed a women's team into the NWSL, so now the only USWNT players in the Pride were Ashlyn, Ali, Sydney, and Kelley O'Hara, who was traded as a midfielder in the right wing the season before, helping them win the 2020 NWSL championship, but had been moved to right back defender as Ali was out. So Ashlyn was one more of the Pride's big names, but became the biggest one, and therefore captain, not just because of her experience, leadership and the five years in the club, but also because she was born less than two hours from their stadium, and the club knew she took them like family and treated her as such, making the maternity negotiations easier.

“It is,” Ashlyn kissed the top of her head, peeking to see Finley sleeping in his crib once again. “Oh my God!” she looked at her phone, but Ali alarmed and looked at Finley.

“What?”

“Sorry, nothing wrong, it's just... apparently we're the very first American marriage of two women in the same teams in USWNT and NWSL that have a child. No other USWNT women's couple had a child while one or two still played, and in the NWSL no one ever has married a teammate and had a child with them while still playing. Like, you are not in the national team anymore, but we're both still in the Pride, so apparently it's history. They wrote an article in Florida Today and in Orlando Sentinel, everyone's talking about it online, calling us badass and all.”

“Oh, nice,” Ali closed her eyes, nuzzling against Ashlyn's biceps skin, pressing her lips there. Then she frowned. “Wait... how do they know we have a child? We haven't announced it yet.”

“They wrote it around the time I left for maternal leave, talking about how the organization of the Pride and the NWSL had to face a first upon deciding which policies to have with us, since one thing is considering your own leave just like it happened with Syd back in the day, and another very different is what to do with me when I didn't birth Finley, but I'm needed home. I mean, I still have to meet with the staff and decide how to proceed, so these articles aren't wrong, this is a first time thing in the NWSL.”

“Good thing the Pride loves you like crazy and will make sure to make things easy for you. Syd's the captain meanwhile, right? While you're out.”

“Yes,” Ashlyn nodded. “As a matter of fact, maybe I should text our CEO Alex and see if we can meet tomorrow. It's not okay for me to keep missing work with Finley already born without having had any sort of agreement with them.” Ali looked up at her proudly.

“You're so responsible and committed, Finley has a lot to look up to,” Ali squeezed her arm affectionately. “Do what you think is the best, and I'll support you.” Ashlyn smiled, nodding.

“Then we should talk about what to do,” Ashlyn said. They had talked about it many times during months, but had at last agreed that until their baby was born, they wouldn't really know what the situation was, because as first-timers, they couldn't quite imagine. “Many first time Dads in the MSL, including Dom when Cash came, never took paternity leave, which is the closest thing written to what I could maybe try to have, so a lot of people will say that if they didn't then I shouldn't either. But for me, I feel I want to be here more, at least for what remains of this season. Of course, we still have to secure our spot in the playoffs, this year we could really make it, and the Championship is right around the corner, Haley hasn't had many minutes substituting me this season... maybe I should just push for the remaining month, the semifinal game between the Pride and the Courage is on the 21st, right? So if we lose there, it's just a bit over a month-,”

“Don't talk as if you want us to lose,” Ali interrupted with a chuckle. “The final is on September 25th, that's... 47 days from now. So question is, for the remaining of the season, do you want to take any time off for 47 days, when your job and family both need you the most, and then go on peaceful holiday and enjoy your kid for three months, or not?”

“Three months? There's national camp in October and November. I'll get roughly one month off to be with Finley, and by then he'll be nearing four months. I'm just going to miss so much. Or I could miss national camp, but now that I'm finally a starting keeper and have what? If lucky, another World Cup and Olympics before retiring? It'll be a set back and it could damage my international career now that it's finally being biggie.” Ashlyn was inherently a very indecisive person, which would surprise most of their acquaintances, and now she was rambling, in conflict between two sides of herself. The committed goalkeeper who was professional, never letting personal stuff interfere and sacrificing a lot of her personal life for her team, and the committed mother and wife with maternal instinct in full swing who didn't want to leave her family in a moment like this.

Ali checked the clock on the bedside table. 21:30 was bright neon blue in the dark, and they had been sleeping for a good portion of the day, so she wasn't too exhausted and knew they needed to have this conversation now that they had a glimpse of what motherhood was going to be like. Besides, the walls were thick and if they spoke a bit lower than their normal voices, they wouldn't bother Debbie and Kyle, whose rooms weren't adjacent to theirs, but more towards the living room.

“Ashlyn, focusing on the NWSL, I think whatever you decide will be okay, and no one, starting by Finley and myself, will have a single reason to criticise. If you decide to stay home, the Pride has big names still. Haley is a wonderful goalkeeper, and even though she's not as experienced as you, she won't have to struggle much with big teammates such as Kelley, Sydney, Marta, Camila, or the Aussies, just to name a few. It doesn't matter what the men usually do, you're a woman, you've got maternal instinct and that's different, okay? We read about this, biologically, women's brains have a different response when having a child than men's do, it doesn't mean they love less, it just means we get more crazy and alert, and it becomes harder for us to tune out, so if anyone tries to compare you with a man, they can suck it,” Ashlyn smiled, loving when she got so protective and cursed a little. “That said... if you decide to go, we'll support you, and it'll be fine. If you think you're gonna have your head in the game, and it's what you want to do, then my family will be here the entire rest of August to ensure we're good, along with many of our friends and your side of the family, and for the remaining 25 days, one, I'm sure we can manage without anyone's help, but two, even if we needed help, we have tons of friends and family who can pop by. We'll be fine. So it all depends on what you feel you can and want to do. No judgement. And we'll decide what to do about the USWNT when the championship's over.”

Ashlyn put her free arm under her head, leaving her phone in her other hand, and stared at the ceiling in deep thought. The moonlight drew odd patterns and figures on the ceiling, and she let Ali's words sink in and comfort her. It felt so great to have such unbelievable support and promise of no judgement from the person who mattered the most to her. And suddenly, it wasn't such a hard decision.

“I'm going to stay,” said Ashlyn at last, after a good couple minutes of silence. Ali looked up and saw her wife's serene expression, which told her the decision wasn't a troubling one.

“Yeah?” Ashlyn nodded and looked at her, then at Finley on Ali's other side, and back at her, nodding again.

“I've given it all to my career since I was five. That's thirty-one years of missing birthdays, weddings, births, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, Father's Day, funerals... Thirty-one years putting my work first and my family second, when I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for family. And now... I don't want someone else to raise my son. That was the first point on you retiring from the national team before having kids, right? So one of us could stay more often, so our kids wouldn't be raised by someone else. It's not even about whether I'm that needed home or not... I think I'm more needed in the Pride, to be honest. We've got so many people here, and Finley's being a sweetie, you'd be fine. But these days, I won't get them back. If I spend the days working so intensively, I'll miss out on all those first weeks of changes, Finley's growth, and one day I'll look at him like 'woah, when did this happen?' and it won't be metaphorical. It'll be literal, because it all happened when I wasn't looking. And I refuse to miss out on my firstborn's first days, even more when he was my biggest dream all along, he and you and this family... that's bigger than the World Cup and the Olympics. God, it's just so clear now,” she smirked, relieved to have things properly cleared in her brain. “I have to be here first and foremost because I don't want to miss a thing of this. I've won championships, I've won all there is to win... I can try again next year. This is a once in a lifetime thing. If I miss on this with Finley... I won't get to go back. And I want to bond with him, I've been dying to meet him for months and now that he's finally here... I can't go anywhere, Alex. I don't care what men do. You said it yourself, right? I have all I ever wanted right now, who makes their lifetime dreams come true and then just leaves them, even if temporally, because there's something else? And besides... it's not like there's a thing more important than you and Finn. So no NWSL and, to be fair...” she grinned big. “No USWNT. To hell with it.”

“Wait, what?” Ali sat up. “You're quitting?”

“No, not quitting. I mean for this year.”

“Oh, shit, I freaked for a moment,” Ali grinned, lying down and hugging Ashlyn, kissing her before letting her arm wrap around her waist and leaning against her chest. “Then I love it all, Ash. You're such a beautiful person, and we're so bloody lucky to have you. But what about your international career?”

“If choosing Finley now means losing that number one spot forever... then I'll accept it, because being Finley's number one is way more important than being the country's one. Other parents will feel things differently, do differently, and it'll be okay, they'll make it work, but this is what feels right for me and what I, personally have to do. I know I have to work on my relationship with him from the start, and if I don't nurture it enough from the start, there'll come a day when I'm not his number one keeper, and it'll break my heart. I don't want to ever be a day when he doesn't feel like I'm his Mommy, when he doesn't feel I love him and our family is the priority for me, or that he can't trust me and rely on me. I don't want for the world to ever admire me and think so highly of me if Finley doesn't. Shit, are you crying?” she suddenly got scared, hearing Ali sniffle and feeling her body start shaking a little as her own t-shirt felt wet.

“It's nothing,” Ali said hoarsely. “I'm just so hormonal right now and,” her voice was filled with emotion, and she sniffled again. “You're saying all these incredible things and I just feel so happy. Finley's the luckiest kid in the world with you, for real.” Ashlyn smiled and wrapped both arms tightly around her, pressing her cheek against the dark hair.

“I'm just discovering that the right way is the one that feels right in my heart. There's not one right way for everybody, it's just individual... and for me, I don't know how to be his Mum and your wife if it's not this way. I can't accept guidelines from anyone else. So I'll make the decisions I can sleep well at night with, and if the Pride or the USWNT doesn't like it... then I'll have to part ways with them.”

“Won't you end-up resenting Finley if he's the reason you have to give things up?” Ali murmured.

“Will you?”

“No, I just mean... you, in your personal case?”

“Well no. He's the reason I'm a Mum, he's the reason all my dreams are true, he'd be my reason to be the happiest person alive even if my professional life had completely crashed years ago. If in the end he was there, every crash would've been worth it,” Ashlyn felt a know in her throat, and gulped it down. “He's giving me everything, the least he deserves is everything I can give... so I don't see it as giving anything up, but as giving priority to what I truly care about.” She blinked tears away and sighed, closing her eyes. “I'll call Alex early morning, meet with him as soon as possible, and then tell the fans myself what I've decided in a press conference, because it's the least they deserve. Just like you chose your Dad and left the Spirit back in the day with the playoffs, because family came first, and you didn't hide... I can't hide. I won't let anyone else talk my heart out for me. I guess with that, Finley's arrival will be announced. Is that okay with you?”

“Don't worry, I'll post something online about that at the same time,” Ali whispered, feeling calm and relaxed inside. “We'll be watching proudly from here.”

“I'm the one who should be proud,” Ashlyn murmured sleepy, her thumb caressing Ali's cheek. “All you've done for one year... doing this for a couple months is literally nothing...”

Ali smiled.

“I knew I picked a good one.”

They had almost fallen asleep, when Finley started whimpering, demanding some attention, and Ali snorted a laugh, sitting up. As they smiled at each other, no one was annoyed. This was their dream, after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments!  
> This story is basically one generic plot that's Ashlyn and Ali's motherhood adventures, and that's formed by linked subplots that last 1 or several chapters. The idea is that when I run out of ideas for subplots I can stop writing without leaving anyone intrigued, because every subplot's first chapter will come when the entire subplot is completely written, so it's a bit like long oneshots. The first one is 8 chapters long, that's as much as I've written, and right now I don't know what to write for the second subplot, so the first 8 chapters will be updated quickly and then as I write other subplots, I'll post them as well. So feel free to make any suggestions, because those will keep this fic going ;D


	3. Let the world judge...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GRADUATED UNIVERSITY!!!!!!! WOHOOOOO HURRAHHHH!!!! So here you've got a new one!

**Chapter 3: Let the world judge, I won't care.**

The meeting with Orlando Pride's CEO Alex Leitão, owner John Bonner, general manager Erik Ustruck and head coach Marc Skinner lasted about an hour. Everyone was more than thrilled and happy about Finley's birth, and a good time of the meeting was spent with the men demanding more photos and videos, and then Ashlyn told them everything she had spoken about with Ali, even mentioning her intention to step back from the USWNT as well, which she'd have to talk about with the USWNT current head coach, Dawn Scott, appointed after Jill Ellis' exit the year before.

Dawn had never been head coach before in her life, but she had an incredible curriculum, had been part of the team for many years, and was the one who knew most about physicality and nutrition, had a thick relationship with the team, and with the assistance of the other coaches, the USWNT had only been scored on six times in the eight months of the season, and hadn't lost a game so far, so she wasn't doing bad.

Since Ali wouldn't be playing soccer (only training on her own) for the rest of the year and would gradually return the next year for a season or two more before full retirement, the Pride would lose two big players at once, so it was important to talk it all out, and they appreciated Ashlyn's efforts and willingness. They left everything written and signed, and Alex sat with Ashlyn in the press room, while Marc left for morning practice with the team and Erik went off to his own office work.

“Hello everybody, thanks for being here today unexpectedly,” Alex said with his thick Brazilian accent. “Well, Ashlyn actually is the one who has big news, so...” he smiled warmly at Ashlyn, who took a sip of her water and nodded, already dying to go back to her family.

“Hi,” Ashlyn smiled. “So, as you know, this season we weren't able to have our right-back and my wife Ali Krieger-Harris due to her pregnancy being due this month, and we've had to face big decisions, because this it the very first time that a NWSL team has two players married to each other and having a kid, leading to questions such as who goes on maternity leave, how long, how do we do this? And although I could've done things like the men do when they have kids, I knew that because of my own personality, their way of doing it, which is so often not taking a leave, wasn't going to work for me. That I need to be home. Which is why right now Alex, Marc Skinner, Erik Ustruck and I have just had a meeting to clarify what the situation is and how we are, as a team, going to do this, and I wanted to tell you the decisions we took personally, not just because I'm the cause of them, but also because as a captain, I didn't feel right letting someone else speak for me.”

“We're gonna do that, and afterwards anybody can asks us questions,” Alex clarified, as someone was already raising a hand.

“Yes, so, first of all, as Ali and I feel that the Pride is our second family, we wanted you to be between the first ones to know that yesterday morning, Ali gave birth to a beautiful baby boy,” Ashlyn couldn't help beaming as she said it, and there were some cheers between the press. “Thank you. Because of this, I really wanted to be here today and not miss one day of work without clarifying the circumstances and reaching a deal with the Pride that couldn't be reached before because well, Ali and I had no idea what we were going to want to do until our son arrived, so...” she shrugged and smiled apologetically. “I firstly want to say this was a very hard decision at first, and then surprisingly became very easy to accept, and Ali has just given me freedom to choose whatever I wanted to do with full support no matter what, so it's a very personal 'me' decision. I've therefore decided not to continue to play with the Orlando Pride for the remaining of the season, and until the following season next year, when I'll happily return.”

“Because of this, today Head Coach Marc Skinner is informing the rest of the team that our new starting goalkeeper for the remaining of the year will be Haley Kopmeyer, and we will make sure to have a backup for her before our next game this weekend,” Alex explained. “The Pride is more than happy to welcome a new member with Ali and Ashlyn's son,” he added with a broad, sincere smile, “and we're more than willing to take whichever steps are necessary to make things easier for these very valued members of the big family the Orlando Pride has become through the years. We're conscious the NWSL doesn't have policies for these cases, and it's a first time thing, but we pride ourselves on being inclusive, on being a team that feels like family, and on, you know, defending things such as the LGBT movement, so we wouldn't be comfortable doing anything but whatever Ashlyn and Ali feel it's best for their family under these circumstances. We know it's a difficult situation, with the playoffs and championship so close, but we understand family is very important, and the birth of your first child is a once in a lifetime thing that we want to encourage Ali and Ashlyn to enjoy, so we'll do whatever it takes to help them and we'll adapt. We have tremendous players,” Ashlyn nodded, appreciative, “that will step-up and work even harder than they've done this whole year, and we're the kind of team so full of big stars and talent that I'm sure they'll have no problem getting more wins. Besides, I know they're probably at this moment, as they're having practice on the field, very excited about this, so, you know, they're going to be fuelled by the good news and dying to meet our newest teammate.”

“So, questions?” Ashlyn inquired.

The Orlando Pride press manager was there to choose who got to ask their questions from the raised hands and hand them the microphone.

“First of all, congratulations Ashlyn, can we know your son's name and how's the family doing?” came the first question from a smiley journalist. Ashlyn beamed helplessly and nodded.

“Yeah, we've named him Finley Robert Krieger-Harris, and he's a healthy boy, nurses said he's quite biggie, to me he just seems the tiniest,” she chuckled, getting some giggles. “But uh, he's got long, strong legs, so maybe the Men's National Team will thank us one day, uh?” her second joke got some light laughing, and the environment was visibly comfortable. “And we're all just... super happy, honestly, I've never been happier. He was born very early yesterday and we were lucky to go home later in the same day, so we've been chilling home with our parents and brothers and all, getting some quality family time, so it's been really great, and Ali's doing so well, baffling me as usual with her strength and endless skills.”

“Ashlyn, you've mentioned it was at first hard to make this decision, can you elaborate on why and what made you finally decide this?”

“Well, first I was very divided and indecisive because I feel a lot of responsibility with my team and I thought this was the worst possible time to leave the team, but also to leave my family, so I was very doubtful. But once I, you know, with Ali's help, said 'ok, this is what we're gonna do', it suddenly seemed the most obvious decision, and I felt so calm, and so settled about it, without any shade of doubt anymore, so that's why it was first so hard and then just the easiest. You see, I wanna win championships, I'm competitive... I've been playing soccer since I was five, so I really don't remember anything else, this is my life and I've been competing and caring about winning for so many decades now, that I struggle to switch that off and for once, not be so obsessed about soccer anymore. So I really had to sit and think... why would I step back now? Because my family truly needs me? Well, not really, because we've got so much help. Because my team truly needs me? No, because we've got a team, like Alex said, that's just full of big names, that's brilliant, and that I feel so confident on and so good about, I have no doubt they'll win with or without us. So in the end, it was really as simple as... what feels right in my heart? What action would I be happier with? And the answer was very easy. All I want is to have the most of my son right now. Everything's changing big and I don't want to miss a thing, I want to accompany my family through this life-changing event, adapt together as our own team, and to be honest with you, I've been dying to meet Finley for nine months, and now that I've been so lucky to get everything I've ever dreamed in life, it would feel absurd for me to step away from it when I could be enjoying it, just stopping to enjoy all I've achieved, you know? 'Cause my biggest dreams were never the Olympics or the World Cup... my biggest dream was a family of my own and motherhood, not just with my dog, but also with my own human kid. It's a common dream of Ali and I, one we've had to postpone for far too many years, and now that we have it, we really want to take the time to truly enjoy it. We've won everything soccer related that we ever wanted, we will still have chances to repeat certain wins, but this is a once in a lifetime thing, and we know our place right now is home, with our boy.”

“There she is!” Ali said excitedly as Ashlyn entered the living room. The long-haired brunette defender was sitting on the sofa supported on many pillows, with her legs stretched on the chaise-longue and their son hugged between her arms, while her parents had their morning coffee sitting next to her and Kyle played with Logan sitting on the floor. No one had clearly been awake for long, as it was all bed hairs and pyjamas, while Ashlyn was fully dressed, make-up on and her hair, short but long enough to cover her ears, perfectly brushed. “We couldn't watch live,” she said as they kissed and Ashlyn was kick to motion to get Finley and sit by her legs holding their son and kissing him, “but we just watched it on the website, you were the sweetest.”

“I just wanted to come home,” Ashlyn said with her face buried on Finley's belly. “I'm never leaving you again!” Ali giggled.

“So did you get a nice agreement then?” Debbie asked looking warmly at her daughter-in-law.

“Yes,” Ashlyn looked up, hugging Finley close, “they offered a paid maternity leave, but I didn't feel well knowing they're already giving it to Ali and, you know, same club dealing with the same with two players for the same kid... I don't want them going bankrupt, and I don't even need the money, so I said I wanted unpaid, they refused, and we agreed on a very symbolic amount, less than the smallest salary in the organization in fact. Now I'm free to stay home with my favourite little man.” She added enthusiastically, grinning down at her son as he snuggled into her chest.

“We are definitely so lucky,” Ali grinned, sliding her ass forward to hug Ashlyn and kiss her soundly. “You're the best.”

“I'm nothing without you two,” Ashlyn replied, kissing her back.

“Okay, give me my nephew before he pukes!” Kyle joked, and they laughed together, sitting down and just enjoying family time.

Because it was such a hot summer's day, they all jumped into the swimming pool rather fast, save for Ali, who couldn't, since she had just given birth and her doctor advised her to wait until her vaginal discharges had stopped. She instead contented with getting into her bikini bra, not caring about her post-partum body, and putting on some shorts over her panties, wetting her upper body under the pool shower before sitting on the sofas next to the swimming pool with a towel, drinking cold juice and taking photographs of the family fun in the pool. Debbie exited the pool and joined her fairly soon, though, while Ashlyn was enjoying giving their son the first swimming pool experience, cradling him in her arms and seeing as his eyes opened a lot and he kicked the water and agitated his hands.

“He's such a natural,” Kyle complimented, kissing his cheek. “Good job, big boy! Can I...?”

While Ali chatted with her mother, at one point she looked up to see Ashlyn laughing big at some joke the boys had said, showing off her dimple, her muscled tattooed arms, her muscled abbs -as she was halfway through the pool stairs in that moment, with the water up to her hips- and holding in that moment Finley in one arm, as she was just returning from a nappy change. The baby was giving Ashlyn an odd expression that looked like he was quite amused, and Ali couldn't resist snapping a photograph with her phone, thinking her wife was just the sexiest, with her wet hair thrown back and looking dark despite its highlights.

' _She's gonna make the pool evaporate with the [fire emoji multiple times] #SexyMommaAndHerCuteSidekick_ ' she captioned as she put the photo online, knowing Ashlyn wouldn't mind.

As they settled into naptime after lunch, and Ali slept with her head on Ashlyn's lap and their son next to her face, while Ashlyn sat up in bed against a bunch of pillows and extended her legs by their son's dark head, the goalkeeper was checking her phone and saw Ali's post with her in the pool which made her snigger and comment.

' _Just trying to keep up with you, gorg ;)_ '

Then, she scrolled down and saw Ali had indeed posted that morning announcing their son's birth with two photographs that could be passed sliding from one to the other. The first one was a close-up of Finley when they arrived home, with his 'boys will be...' onesie, exposed as he was only half swaddled, showing his cute pouty face and his hands relaxed framing his face, beanie off to show his messy dark mane. The second photograph had been taken by Kyle at the hospital, showing Ali sitting up in her hospital bed, with a hospital gown on, her hair loose and slightly messy, and the sheets up to her waist as she held a bundle that could only be Finley with both arms, and stared down at him lovingly. Ashlyn sat on the verge of the bed with an arm around her wife and her temple against her wife's head, looking down adoringly at Finley, both mothers grinning, and keeping her free hand with Ali's below him.

Instead of a caption, the photographs came accompanied by a link to a heartfelt post in her blog.

' _Ashlyn and I's first child Finley Robert Krieger-Harris was born in the first few hours of Monday August 9_ _th_ _2021 and both he and I are healthy, happy and at home. We are so overjoyed and over the moon, I don't even know where to begin._

_This is the biggest dream my wife Ashlyn and I have ever had, and I still can't believe it's done. I still look over at him somehow expecting him to not be there, and I still get blown-away by how incredible this experience is every single time I look at him. The road here hasn't been an easy one. First, because both his mothers are soccer players, and damn good ones, so we've constantly struggled between our inherent thirst for games and our unstoppable desire to have a family, not just with our baby doggie Logan, but with human babies as well. At times, it felt like it'd never happen, and then when we thought we could take time off, we kept thinking, how are we going to take time off with how expensive is going to be to have this child?_

_For us, it wasn't just a matter of having loads of fun in the privacy of our home. It was a struggle, and very often, not fun at all. No one knew when last year we were attempting to win the Olympics and the NWSL championship while simultaneously dealing with Ashlyn's fertility treatments so she could produce enough eggs and of a good enough quality for me to get pregnant with a healthy child as fast as possible even though we were both not getting any younger. It's funny when I baffle her for whatever merits correspond me for being pregnant and giving birth, when she baffled me first going through months of being medicated, part of it with injections (and despite her love for tattoos, you should know Ashlyn HATES any other needle) only to then find out her profession was making it impossible for things to work and have to wait until after the NWSL championship to resume, while no one knew, not even our families, what we were emotionally going through._

_We were so worried age would be a problem. We were so worried it was being INCREDIBLY expensive. We were so worried the process would damage Ashlyn's career beyond repair, as when the doctor said 'avoid impact sports', we both knew she couldn't do both things at once, leading for her to give up her participation on the USWNT games from October and November, with an official cause being 'illness', because we didn't want anyone to know we were trying, in case we failed and sunk and ended the happy hopes and expectations of more people than just us. Then, Ashlyn was successful and I could get pregnant just like we had planned._

_And here we are._

_So I would like to thank all those medical professionals and therapists who kept us going, kept us strong and encouraged, and helped us achieve our biggest dream. I always wanted to experience pregnancy and childbirth, and have a big family. Ashlyn always dreamed of having a happy family and motherhood. We could not have gotten this far without you, and every time I hold my son I'll think with so much love of each and every one of you, without forgetting our male donor, an anonymous we wish the best of the best to._

_I also want to thank our families and friends, our teammates, our coaches, the staff of our home & country clubs... all of you who showered us with nothing but love and support, and who never let us feel alone. You're authentic angels and we love you so much. You make this experience twice as fantastic, for sure._

_And most importantly thank you, Ashlyn. You've put up with so much for this, and I know being medicated up to your eyeballs and hormonal made you quite miserable very often, but you kept going because you knew it was worth it. And I followed your example all these months because I knew it was worth it, and that I had you to look up to. You're my best friend, my favourite person, my love, my wife, and now I see what I always knew; that you're doomed to be the best mother in the world. Thank you for being the rock of this family and the glue that keep us together. I'm so proud of you, so in awe with you, and I couldn't be happier to have you be the momma of our child._

_To all the parents out there dreaming with this moment and fearing it won't happen... keep trying. Keep going. IVF, IUI, adoption... any way you want it. If you want a family, you'll have it, you just have to BELIEVE._

_And to all the women and future women who will meet my son, go to class with him, work with him, and share parts of your lives with him... don't worry, because we'll raise our little man to respect you, to care for you, to learn about feminism, consent, gentlemanliness, manners, politeness and, above all, love, and will make sure he's never a man for you to fear. He's our little wild feminist, and hopefully one day a big brother of many other little wild feminists working to create a better tomorrow._

_Love,_

_Finley's Mama._ '

Ashlyn blinked tears away and looked at her sleeping wife, who snored softly, and their son, who was currently moving a little in his sleep. And she couldn't believe her luck.

  
  


 


	4. Getting the knack of it

**Chapter 4: Getting the knack of it.**

After making sure Finley was absolutely fine with his grandma Debbie, Ashlyn walked over to the bathroom adjacent to her room, that their own private bathroom, and found Ali comfortable in the bathtub as she had left her half an hour before.

“Still good, love?” Ashlyn asked, always caring enormously about her, always keeping an eye on her. It had been only two days since Finley had arrived, and Ali was trying her first bath, as in the hospital she had only gotten as far as to be washed with towels by the nurses.

“Well, uh...” Ali shrugged a little. “Bit itchy down there, and then the cramps and uh... my body's a bit of a mess.” Ashlyn's lip curved into an empathetic side smile and she brought over a stool from under the sink to sit by the tub, caressing her hair.

“What if... I wash your hair, and we get you out of here so I can give you a body massage? And then,” she leaned over, making her smile as she pressed light kisses over her shoulder and cheek, “after lunch, we could go on a bit of a stroll and get some air? The doctor did say to gradually start doing exercise.”

“I like the way you think, babes.”

Ashlyn looked satisfied and moved to sit behind Ali out of the tub, as their bathroom was quite big and had a large space for the bathtub. She took Ali's shampoo and poured a generous amount onto Ali's hair before starting a gentle skull massage,washing her hair and creating foam. Ali leaned into her hands and hummed in delight.

“You don't know how glad I am you don't manipulate heads with my brother's brutality,” Ali murmured, making her snort a laugh. Kyle, being a professional hairdresser, could be incredibly rough when it came to washing hair or putting product, often making it a bit uncomfortable while being utterly oblivious. He, however, had an undeniable talent for finding perfect hairstyles, so the sacrifice was usually worth it.

“You have such beautiful hair,” Ashlyn complimented, rinsing with one of the two shower heads in her hand before putting on conditioner, massaging thoroughly to undo the knots for a few minutes, and then rinsing again.

She gently helped her wife out of the tub, into her bathrobe and into panties with a pad, before walking her into their room and sitting her down to dry her, comb and braid her hair, and then lied her down and found their massage oil to use her fabulous strong goalkeeper hands to gently massage her shoulders, neck, arms, hands, back, gluteus, down and until the last toe. In the end, Ali was so relaxed she was sure if someone had asked her own name right then, she wouldn't have been able to think the answer.

“You rest, I'll help with lunch. With a bit of luck you have half an hour before Finley calls you.” She leaned to kiss her wife, once she had removed the excess oil with paper towels, and tucked her in with her bathrobe before heading back to the kitchen.

“Everything okay?” Debbie asked Ashlyn while she cooked with Kyle and Ashlyn's parents, who had come over, and Ken played with his grandson sitting on a stool and making noises for his amusement.

“Yeah, no worries, I was just giving Ali a massage and left her relaxing a little,” Ashlyn explained, smirking at her son's big-eyed expression as Ken made noise after noise for him. She had never seen Ken act so silly in her life, and admired her son for bringing that side out of everyone.

“A massage, uh?” Kyle winked at her, fooling around, and Ashlyn shook her head, highly amused, and hugged him from behind as he prepared a salad.

“You know your sister's vagina was just stretched beyond belief for a whole person to come out, right? Along with blood and other... liquids,” Ashlyn whispered into his ear.

“Suddenly I'm not so hungry, funnily enough.” Kyle commented, making her laugh out loud.

As expected, Finley required Ali's attention shortly, but by then they had all sat around the table and Ali had gotten dressed and joined them, so Ashlyn commented their idea of going on a short stroll afterwards, and everyone agreed. There were many lakes around where they lived, and plenty of landscapes to walk around. They got ready, put Finley to have his nap in his carriage and went out into the hot, humid day. Tammye pushed the carriage, so Ali held onto Ashlyn's arm, feeling comforted that way.

It was nice to get out of the house for a bit, and to be in family. Kyle and his boyfriend of four years Matthew had recently become engaged over a romantic summer holiday in Hawaii, so there was some wedding talk. Matthew was a sweet Cornish paramedic who Kyle had, very film-like, met in London during his time in film school over there, years back. He had suffered a non-serious fainting spell and his friends had insisted he waited for the ambulance to be checked by no other than Matthew, and then it had been love at first sight. Kyle had made efforts to locate Matthew, who had been super happy to be found again, and asked Kyle on their first date. A big romantic and an orphan who had his fair share of life trauma and therapy sessions on his shoulders, Matthew had grown-up to become an optimist who fuelled positive energy into everyone he met, was ever attentive of Kyle, and was very into sciences with big love for going to the theatre and the cinema and secret dancing skills, so he and Kyle hit it off right away. Matthew was understanding, compassionate and comprehensive, and like in every big love story, Kyle had found himself listened, understood, wanted despite his flaws, while Matthew also opened up to him and was vulnerable and communicative. They had twice been about to break-up due to their own baggage, but their ability to understand each other, empathize, be communicative, patient, and having some talent to know what the other needed had saved them twice, each making their relationship stronger instead of the usual weaker. Kyle had spent a couple years studying in London and dating Matthew, and when he had finished and wanted to stablish somewhere in the US, Matthew had followed him overseas. His only living family, an older sister with three kids and a life of her own in Cornwall, had given him her blessing and petitioned Kyle to take good care of him, and the rest was history. Two years later they were established in the suburbs of New York City, had a dog named Clyde together, and while Matthew was a paramedic there and Kyle's whole family adored him, Kyle worked as a hairdresser but he still did plenty of photography, sometimes professional things, and wrote and directed his own short films whenever possible. The two had found they wanted the same things in life, including a kid or two -Matthew was obsessed with adopting an orphan, and Kyle was obsessed with making him happy and wanted any kid, wherever it came from- and subsequently, Matthew had bought a nice titanium ring and had proposed.

“Let's sit for a bit, uh?” Ali asked as they reached one of the many lakes around the area and she found a bench, onto which she flopped with some tiredness.

She went from wanting to be alone with her wife and son to really wanting company, so the family arrangements worked. So far, they had asked their friends and extended family to stay at bay for a week, because the doctor had said it was better not to have too many visitors during the first week or two, to not expose Finley to much bacteria and also to not exhaust themselves too much. Because of this, their parents and brothers would be as much as they'd see for a bit. Matthew couldn't come over because of work, but he had videocalled and excitedly cooed at Finley, declaring him 'the sweetest dude', with a thick British accent and his dark blue eyes fixed on his nephew full of love, and Ellie, being a nurse and pregnant, didn't have much time to come either, although she had briefly visited with Christopher in the morning.

Feeling an urge to check on their boy, Ali pulled the carriage between her legs and supported her chin on the verge of it, looking at the sleeping baby, who was just chilling there doing what newborns are supposed to be doing; sleep. Soon, they would introduce him to all their soccer family, and they would get him into little purple stuff to support the Orlando Pride in the NWSL championship, but for now, his main job was to be cute.

However, Finley's manners went nuts abruptly that night, when they woke up to a son crying as if he had just learned the function and was trying it at its full volume.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Ashlyn blurted out as she sat up with a jerk, fumbling to turn the lamp on with her heart drumming hard from the sudden scare. She had been deeply asleep, as it was three in the morning already.

As the light redefined the figures in the room, she saw Ali was already grabbing Finley, sitting up and exposing one of her breasts, coaxing Finley into accepting it as a peace offering. He held onto it and shut up as he sucked her nipple, and both mothers breathed in relief.

“Why do we even spend on alarm clocks, uh?” Ali joked, yawning and rubbing her sleepy eyes.

Ashlyn snorted and shook her head with a smirk, leaning to press a kiss soundly against her cheek.

“May I?” Ashlyn asked lifting her phone.

“Take photos of me with my boob out? Sure, why not. I already let a bunch of docs see it all,” Ali winked and leaned back, letting her wife take pictures.

“I mean, we'll need to blackmail him one day reminding him of our sacrifices, right?” Ali laughed at her comment, and leaned to kiss the boy's forehead.

“You can go back to sleep if you want, babe,” Ali said after a while, seeing Finley wasn't going to sleep any time soon. “I won't hold it against you.”

“Are you kidding? I've got the best views,” Ashlyn was looking adoringly at them, despite being super tired. “Petition to take the burping turn!”

“Conceded,” Ali replied with a giggle.

True to her word, when the moment came Ali handed Ashlyn their son and she threw one of his towels over her shoulder to put him against it and help him burp while walking around the room and patting his back until he burped a little of milk over the towel. Ashlyn smiled as he started to doze off and retired the towel, lying him between her arms and gently swaying to help him fall asleep. She started humming a song and Ali smiled, unable to keep herself from filming the cute scene with her phone, even less when Ashlyn started singing softly while looking down at their now asleep son.

“Your little hands wrapped around my finger and it's so quiet in the world tonight... Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming, so I tuck you in and turn on your favourite night light. To you, everything's funny... you got nothing to regret. I'd give all I have honey... if you could stay like that. Oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up, just stay this little... oh darling don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple. I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart... no one will desert you...” Ashlyn lost track of the lyrics when she heard a sniffle and looked up to see Ali filming them with her phone and, surprisingly, with glassy eyes. Ashlyn smiled showing her dimple. “Aw, don't cry, I don't sing that bad.” She joked, getting Ali to snort a laugh through her tears and put her phone down.

“I just love you so much.” Ali murmured. Ashlyn put Finley in his crib and kissed him goodnight before sitting on the bed with Ali and wrapping her arms around her. “I'm so fucking hormonal.”

“Yeah,” Ashlyn wrapped her closer. “But I love you so much too. Remember when we were ten years younger and we'd have picnics and lie down snuggled together and talk hours and hours about all the things we would do and the family we'd create?”

“How could I forget? We've come such a long way...”

“We have,” Ashlyn cupped her face against her chest. “And we'll continue to do so together. But for now, it's time to get some mama sleep.”

Finley's first week went by in a blur, after all, and it didn't seem so exhausting, as they had so much help. In fact, it seemed quite easy, and they started wondering whether every parent out there exaggerated or their son was just an angel, but they avoided commenting on it just in case they'd jinx it. Ali if anything was the only of the two experimenting some difficulty, and it wasn't in relation with caring for Finley, but in relation with her own body not feeling quite hers even after delivery. She gradually went back to sports, but it was so hot outside that her Northerner blood couldn't stand it much, not to mention her body didn't quite like her jogging, so she decided to instead meditate every time Finley slept and she wasn't tired enough to join him.

Ashlyn was enjoying herself thoroughly. Deciding to disconnect completely from soccer and purely enjoy motherhood, she stopped watching games and paying attention to her social networks, and only checked her phone to answer phone calls and any text that was truly important. As for the rest, her family was, for once, put first and foremost and occupied all her attention. If Ali winced in the slightest, she was there to offer a painkiller, if Finley cried she was there in an instant, and if the fridge emptied, she and Kyle quickly grabbed the car and made a big shopping trip. She was ever attentive, and she knew her family appreciated it. And in exchange, she got to see her family welcome Finley with open arms. She recorded Nana Eunice holding Finley every time she came, because the image of the woman with her first great-grandson was just one she wanted to remember forever, and she saw her parents looking happier than she ever remembered seeing them. Just getting to see how easily Finley made them smile and laugh with the slightest of things filled her heart so much and made her feel like her kid was truly special, and not just for being theirs.

But what she was looking forward now was her sisters meeting their newest nephew, after years of being the auntie to theirs. That would for sure be a truly special day.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> Recently, my cat, who I have had my whole life pretty much, had emergency surgery and due to reasons unknown, her recovery complicated and a few nights later she got suddenly really bad and agonised to death in my arms while we were all alone and without a possibility to get her help fast enough.
> 
> Understandably, I'm heartbroken. I've gone through many huge loses in my young life, and yet this one was even worst than parental ones, because through all of them, she was there. She was there to comfort me, for me to hug her when I had depression and cried myself to sleep for years and years, she was there through every single thing. My whole life. This is the first time I have to deal with a big loss without her constant love and support, and it's wrecking me inside out. She's left a huge hole everywhere; not being with me in bed, not waking me up in the morning, not mawling when I come home, not stealing my food and water when i sit down to eat, not accompanying me every-single-time I go to the bathroom... even looking at the corner of my bed she used to sleep on, or her box-bed, or her blanket makes me feel a punch to the chest.
> 
> I'm trying to keep writing, and I assure you I have all these chapters written, but more often than not I only feel like lying in bed moping around than like coming and updating, so I just want you to know that if I update less it's just because I'm grieving. I don't expect patience -nobody I know has really come to understand that it hurts so bloody much to lose her like I did- but I'm a very open and honest person and I thought you deserved to know the whole truth. I watched as my best friend died in my arms without being able to help her, after having already lost a good portion of my family in the recent years... it's a lot to take in. But as long as you have interest I will get my shit together, and I will update as soon as I can, I promise.


	5. Loud and proud

**Chapter 5: Loud and proud.**

On Sunday and after a tough game the evening before that had ended on a tie at home, the Pride girls Kelley and Sydney joined them at home for a USWNT Finley's meet-and-greet reunion, along with their Saturday's rivals, Los Angeles girls Alex Morgan and Christen Press. Aside for them, Ashlyn and Ali weren't able to get anyone else of their old closest friends who was in the NWSL, since all the teams were still playing their remaining games before the playoffs. However, they could get Allie Long, who wasn't playing because she was three months pregnant with her first child, and Becky Sauerbrunn, who was in the same situation after having tied the knot the year before, although she was only as far along as to having just learned about her pregnancy. It didn't matter that the pregnancies were early; with jobs as tough physically as playing soccer, they could train with the rest of the team, but not play, since contact could result in miscarriage.

After securing the visits of Kelley, Sydney, Alex, Christen, Allie and Becky, the Krieger-Harris matrimony decided they could also get some of their retired friends. Abby Wambach was an easy choice because she lived not far from Orlando, and although her wife was busy, had a clear schedule. She had been writing books, and writers' were their own bosses, after all. Carli Lloyd was always ready for a USWNT reunion, since her retirement had been so recent that she was still learning to live without the girls, as well as Megan Rapinoe. Heather O'Reilly, although five-months pregnant with her husband Dave Werry and her's first child, and with coaching a small girls' team in North Carolina, wouldn't miss meeting Finley for the world. She had practically been begging to make the trip for days, as she was one of Ashlyn's best friends from college, where they had been roommates, and she was also one of Ali's best friends, as they were right side, strong side.

But the visit that had Ashlyn the most excited was the one of the person who had been her best friend since Ashlyn met her picking her up when they were still in North Carolina together. Whitney Engen had been abruptly retired in 2016 from the National Team, after being told by Jill Ellis that she wouldn't be called-up anymore, and then afterwards she hadn't been able to enjoy soccer enough to continue playing with the NWSL's Boston Breakers, now dissolved, so she had back then simply retired altogether. That had cooled her relationship with her soccer friends, because thinking of soccer hurt so much for a long time she couldn't be close to those who, as players, reminded her so much of the game, even Ashlyn. They had started barely talking and never seeing each other, partially because life got busy, until Whitney came to their wedding in December 31st 2019, when they had serious talk and decided to fight for the friendship they had. She was also close to Ali as they both were defenders, so Ali was overjoyed to see them together again being the partners in crime they once were. Later in 2020, Ashlyn was there to see Whitney graduate law school, and now Whitney worked in a junior position at a law firm, but when she heard Finley had been born, she quickly asked for some days of vacation and flew from her home in Boston to Florida.

“Come on baby, you have to be all clean for your aunties, smelling good!” Ashlyn stuck her tongue out to distract her son as she held his head and torso up with two firm hands over the sink and Ali brushed him with a special natural sponge for his delicate skin, careful with the umbilical cord's stump.

“It really helps that you have such good goalkeeper's hands, to be honest,” Ali commented, smiling at Finley as he agitated his legs a little in the bit of water that partially filled the sink and tried to stick his tongue out.

“From picking balls to picking things with balls, trained my whole life,” Ashlyn joked, making her giggle.

“He's ready! Oh, do you think his USWNT shirt will fit already?”

“Alex, he's going to swim in it, it's for age one,” Ashlyn laughed. It was the smallest size available, though.

“Bummer...” Ali picked Finley with a towel to dry him gently. “The love wins one will do, then.”

“Yes ma'am...”

Ashlyn laughed as Ali playfully slapped her butt with a towel for calling her ma'am, and went to get nappy and sleeveless onesie. They would be outside because so many people inside the house was claustrophobic, not to mention even though it was hot, it was also pretty nice and the girls would enjoy the pool, and the sofa area had a wooden exterior ceiling, so he'd be protected from the direct sunlight while enjoying some fresh air and maybe some pool time too, since part of the pool was in the shadows. So Ashlyn got the waterproof nappy just in case, they dressed him, and the baby was put, for the moment, to take a nap, because the warm water made him start yawning.

“What do you think about my tee?” Kyle asked coming over. The girls looked down and saw the black t-shirt had a white message of 'World's Best Uncle', and smiled.

“I think it's quite accurate,” Ashlyn complimented.

“Now shush perfect Uncle, it's lullaby time.”

Outside, Debbie was already organizing things, covering the low outside table that was between the outside sofas with a tablecloth and clipping it so the breeze wouldn't move it, and bringing outside the mini-fridge with plenty of cold drinks.

“Thank you so much Deb, you're an angel,” Ashlyn said coming into the backyard and seeing all that Debbie had prepared.

“No problem sweetie, how was the bath?”

“A success, Finn's just sleeping now. Apparently the effects of warm water are universal, and his Mama gave him a massage, so he's out like a lighting!”

Debbie's lips formed a delighted side smile.

“Aw, I'll go kiss him goodnight then!”

Ashlyn and Kyle finished arranging everything outside, and when they came inside, Ali and Debbie were just coming from the corridor that led to the bedrooms and bathrooms, and Ashlyn stopped dead in her tracks seeing her wife, who had been in pyjamas and baggy sports clothes all week and now looked so incredible her throat felt dry instantly. Ali had curled her hair, that fell in sensual dark waves, had done all her make-up, not just mascara, hiding the tiredness of her face after weeks of sleeping more-or-less, first because she was too big to get comfortable in bed, and then because her sleep was interrupted every two or three hours, and had put on perfume and pretty silver rain earrings. She had put on a short, vaporous, dark blue summer dress with thin stripes, and sandals, so she wasn't too fancy nor too elegant, and if she hadn't a baby monitor in her hand, you'd almost forget she had just given birth six days before.

“So?” Ali asked, unsure.

“Oh, come on, as if you could ever not be beautiful,” Kyle said rolling eyes and chuckling.

“You look like motherhood is easy,” Ashlyn added, moving to kiss her. “So pretty, I'm so, so lucky.”

“Thanks, babe,” Ali grinned satisfied.

Their friends were already in other friends' houses or hotels, or, in cases like Abby who lived so close, she was driving, so there was nothing to do but finish making sure everything was ready, and prepare. Ashlyn was dressed already, although now she had her doubts about how nice she was, next to her wife. She had opted for a vaporous summer white shirt with mandarin collar, the sleeves rolled up to her shoulders, and had her bikini underneath, bikini shorts, and then short jeans that would come off the minute they were in the pool. And she wasn't bothering with shoes, simply getting her flip-flops on.

So when the doorbell rang and Logan barked in her 'I'm just helping you realize there's a guest' way, Ashlyn was ready to yank the door open, and to her immense happiness, the first one to arrive was the lawyer.

“Whit!” Ashlyn laughed as they jumped to each other's arms and Whitney kissed every bit of her she could reach.

“My friend! It's been so long!”

“I've missed you like mad,” they grinned at each other, with hands still on each other. “You look gorg!” Whitney had a long summer dress, a big beach purse, and her hair was long, light and loose. “How's Ryan?” Her husband.

“He's great, he told me to give you all many kisses from him, but you know, work,” Whitney shrugged and smiled, squeezing her cheek. “You look so great too!”

“Knock knock, may we?” Ali grinned at them, standing with her brother and mother waiting their turn, and Whitney laughed and flew to their arms.

“Oh my God girl, you've got so much to tell us! How's that law?” Kyle asked as they hugged as well.

“It's all so well, I didn't expect to see you both here as well, it's been so long!”

As they sat in the living room chatting, Whitney realized the boy wasn't around.

“OK, no offence, I love you guys but where's my nephew?”

“He's napping, we'll bring him over in a bit over an hour when he awakes,” Ashlyn assured her. “He's got some weird obsession with Ali's breasts, you see?” she joked, making them laugh.

“Although I guess we could let you see him sleep,” Ali offered, and they guided Whitney into the ocean-themed nursery room, where their little shark was peacefully asleep outstretched in his crib.

“Oh my...” Whitney grinned leaning over the crib and caressing the boy's cheek with one gentle finger. “He's even handsomer in person...” she whispered, caressing his little hand with one long finger.

“And he's double-dimpled, kid you not,” Ali murmured, making her smile bigger.

“I love you so much already, you precious thing,” Whitney said to the boy. “And if you get the same knack for breaking the law as every Harris I know, I'll always get you out of trouble.”

“Phew, now I don't have to ask...” Ashlyn joked with a warm smile towards her friend.

Kelley and Sydney arrived shortly after, without Dom, Sydney's husband, who was out of the city for an away game the following day, but with Sydney's kids Cassius, who was now five, and his little sister, who was two, plus their dog. So the dog went to the garden running with Logan, Ashlyn took one kid over each shoulder to play outside with Kyle and the dogs and Sydney and Kelley chatted inside with Whitney, Ali and Debbie, serving the first few drinks and briefly stopping by Finley's room for the girls to see and because the baby was whimpering a little, seemingly seeking maternal comfort.

“Well I must say you're looking great,” Kelley commented lowering her voice and keeping a hand on Whitney's shoulder and another on her drink while staring at Ali, who was just rocking Finley a little bit before he could wake up.

“Thanks,” Ali half-smiled. “Still not feeling that great though, but at least he's an angel.

“He's so cute with those dimples,” Sydney smiled at him. The abundant dark hair had started to change and was now dark brown and slightly less abundant and curlier, but as for the rest, he hadn't changed much. “And those big soccer legs, uh? Kicking Mama must've been quite the training.”

“You should see his reflex smiles, all dimply,” Debbie commented drooling after her grandson. “Just like his Mummy.”

“Yeah, but now's time to sleep or else he'll get pissed,” Ali gently placed him back in his crib. “Sweet dreams love...”

Outside, they were playing football dogs vs boys vs girls, and Sydney took photos of her daughter running around grabbing Ashlyn's hand and being cute.

“Some definitely have motherhood in vein,” Whitney commented toasting with Ali as they looked at the kids play. Kelley had gone to join the girls' team and Sydney had been recruited by her son, so the others enjoyed just sitting on the sofa outside and seeing the mess in the garden. “When's Kyle giving you more grandchildren, Deb?” she inquired, fooling around and side-smiling, non serious. Debbie chuckled.

“Well Kyle and Matt are trying for a summer wedding, so...” Debbie shrugged. “I'd say there's a lot of time until another grandchild comes along. “We'll just enjoy Finley in the meantime.”

Alex, Christen, Allie, Hao and Becky came at the same time a few minutes later, and then shortly after first Carli, and then, while Ali took a moment to breastfeed, Abby, who had struggled a little to find a parking spot in the area. With everyone at home, Ashlyn made sure everyone found entertainment either in the pool, where there was music, or around just eating and having drinks on the sofa, while she prepared a barbecue with Kyle's help.

“Here he is,” Ali announced as she came back outside, where everyone was chattering and loud, holding Finley, who had a summer hat on and looked around curious from his mother's arms.

Right away, everyone was ogling at him, cooing, taking turns to hug him, and at the same time, trying not to overwhelm him. As lunch was ready, Ashlyn and Kyle brought the food to the table and they all sat around enjoying baby and food.

“I have to say it, he's such a mini Ash,” Tobin smiled, holding Finley close. “So cute.”

“Actually, you should see my brother as a baby, they're super alike,” Ashlyn commented, but happy to be compared with him.

“And you're doing well then?” Hao, as Heather O'Reilly was nicknamed, asked Ali, who nodded.

“Well, I'm getting a lot of help. My Dad just took the plane last night to head home, but he's been here all week helping out, Mum and Kyle will be here the rest of the holidays, and Ashlyn's family and our friend Liz pop around all the time,” Ali explained “The labour was far too long and exhausting for anyone's liking, but now it's okay, I just have to recover my body and then I'll go back to feeling awesome.”

“Trust me, it'll feel better than before being pregnant. Ask anyone,” Sydney reassured her.

“That's what all the other mamas said,” Ali nodded, smiling. “So can't wait!”

“I'm going to laugh so hard seeing you so close to 40, coming back from giving birth, and still running faster than the girls in their twenties,” Ashlyn commented joyfully, bringing some laughter into the already happy conversation, as everyone was so excited to meet again.

“Ash, why don't you bring Whit's surprise?” Ali whispered on Ashlyn's ear. She smiled and nodded, getting up and going back inside. “We're not going to baptize him, though,” the defended commented as she held Finley again, as he started to doze off. “You know, if the Church has their 'buts' with the LGBTQ, then Finn has a whole family to teach him about God in a healthy way, and he doesn't have to participate in the rituals.”

“Well said,” Christen smiled at Finley, caressing his feet gently as she sat next to Ali.

“You could give him honorary godparents, though, or legal guardians...” Kyle commented nonchalantly. “I mean...” he motioned to himself and winked, amusing everybody with his silliness.

“That's been in our minds, but it's still too soon to decide much on that,” Ali chuckled at her brother.

“So guys,” Ashlyn had just arrived, carrying a roll of paper tied with a lace and with the edges burned irregularly as it to make it look like an old parchment, “Finley's like, so talented already, and he told us to give you this from him.” Ashlyn handed it to Whitney, who eyed it suspiciously.

“What's this?” Whitney asked.

“I don't know, but Finn was very adamant it was for his Aunty Whit,” Ali explained looking as curious as she was. “Why don't you read it out-loud so Finley knows you got it?”

Whitney unrolled the paper and was unsurprised to find it was Ashlyn's handwriting, although also Ali's in other paragraphs, if she looked over it with a general look. She smiled as she started to read the letter.

“Dear Aunty Whitney,” the former defender started. “Ever since my moms found out I existed, I haven't stopped hearing about you. Mommy says you met fifteen years ago and that you quickly became her first best friend ever, and introduced her to a kind of friendship she hopes I get to have too. Thanks to all the stories I've been told, I know you always took care of my Mommy and were her family away from home, that you made sure she studied hard, trained harder, and that the only thing she gave up on was drugs,” Whitney gave Ashlyn a glare and a smile and shook her head, beginning to get emotional, but Ashlyn just grinned. “You played together for the first few years of your careers, and although Mommy tells me you're not so fond of soccer anymore, I know I at least should forever be grateful for it, because it put you into our lives. According to Mommy, she'd be nothing if it wasn't for you. For your continuous help and sisterhood during university, for that summer working together in LA being your own family so you wouldn't miss home, and you also won together the W-League, whatever that is,” Whitney snorted a laugh, and kept reading, as the others observed with endearment and amusement. “You also won together the first WPS Championship, and meanwhile, became a much more valued friend to Mama in the National Team than you ever knew. When my moms were in Germany, you remained a close friend, and you never let those friendships die, nor turned your back on them when they needed you, and every time you all re-encountered in the national team, it was as if you had never been apart, only to reunite in Sweden and be the coolest ladies in the North. The point is, through fifteen years you've proven to be not just an exceptional teammate and friend, but also a sister, in one and every team and outside of them all. And both of my moms have always known they could count on you when needed and they owe you so much, they were very sad when they knew you were struggling in life, and they didn't know what to do. But now that times are different, I want you to still be a part of our family together, soccer aside. I want you to always know we all love you and that here, you always have a place to call home and people to call family. Here, it doesn't go one day without all three of us being eternally thankful for your big heart and kindness,” she continued to read with glassy eyes, “and for your continuous support through thick and thin, making your friendship way more than about soccer. The biggest thing we have agreed we should thank you about is, therefore, soccer unrelated. We want to thank you because when my Mommy was the loneliest, you gave her more than anyone had ever done there. You never judged her for her wrongs, you pulled her out of drugs, and you pushed her to keep working and keep working on being her best self, the one now we love,” Whitney took a deep breath and rubbed an eye. “If it wasn't for you, she could be dead by now, and I wouldn't be here either. If it wasn't for you, my Mama would've never met the love of her life either. If it wasn't for you, this family wouldn't exist at all. And now look at you, becoming the best lawyer out there and getting the happiness you deserve. It is because we think so highly of you, we love you so much, and you've worked so hard, that we think you deserve a reward. Aunty Whitney, I could either grow-up to be the quietest, most obedient and well-behaved man in the world, or I could grow-up to be double trouble like most my family, make mistakes, and need someone to pull me up and give me a good pep talk of those you're so good at. Whoever I become, I know I'm going to need you to stay close. My moms will do their best, and so will their whole family, but my moms know well that sometimes that's not enough, when there are things I'm too shy to tell them, I'd like to know I can count on you too. Therefore, I want to ask you, Aunty, if you would be so nice to become my honorary godmother?” Whitney let a sob out and murmured an 'Oh my God' shaking her head before she could continue reading, with a broken voice overcome with emotion. “The duties include changing nappies, being a cool aunty, kicking my Mommy's ass when she does mistakes, being my fierce lawyer when needed, teaching me to respect rules better than my family does, sharing the happy times with me, and when I'm down, you have to remind me there are things way bigger than those we obsess about, and that just because one dream fails, doesn't mean I shouldn't continue dreaming and fighting for newer dreams. Also, you better love me forever and in my moms' absence, you're the boss. Love, Finn.”

Whitney couldn't help breaking into crying, covering her face with one hand in embarrassment and holding the letter with the other. Ashlyn half smiled at Ali, who looked emotional while holding Finley, who was completely asleep, and stood up to walk over to Whitney and sit next to her, wrapping her arms around her.

“Oh my God, do you hate it so much?” Ashlyn joked. Whitney snorted a laugh and pushed her playfully.

“I hate you, stabbing my poor heart straight in the feels,” Whitney took a deep breath to calm herself and rubbed her eyes. “I have no words, I love you so much...”

“What about,” Ali suggested, “yes I'll be Finley's honorary godmother?” she chuckled at her friend, who grinned and nodded.

“Yeah. Yes, of course I will be! Come here my godson...”

  
  


 


	6. Scored on

**Chapter 6: Scored on.**

During dessert, Kyle was in his turn to hold his nephew for a little while while he slept a small nap, not bothered by the noise. It maybe had something to do with the fact that his mothers had had to get used to napping whenever possible due to sports, no matter the noise, so perhaps he had inherited some of the talent. He was now cuddled in his blanket and Kyle's strong thick arms enveloped him delicately. Kyle was just so over the moon with his nephew, because it was a part of his two sisters and favourite women in the world, and the love for them extended towards the boy. It didn't matter that Finley and him would never share any characteristics unless it was by absolute chance, and on the other side, the baby would be a great practice into fatherhood.

“So how's wedding planning going, Kyle?” asked Heather with a side smile while nursing a glass of juice, unable to drink alcohol while being pregnant herself, although not too far along. “We were hoping to meet that fiancé of yours!”

“Oh, he's working, paramedics don't really get time off,” Kyle said, happy to talk about things he loved. “We're aiming for next June, but maybe we'll wait until the off-season, so these two can come. Ali has to be my best man.”

“Aw, sweetie, marry whenever you want and I promise we will sneak off work. We'll play sick or something,” Ali told him, making him chuckle.

“You better!”

“Who knows, maybe Ash will be pregnant by then and make sneaking out easier,” Allie Long commented with a sneaky smirk at Ashlyn, who suddenly felt uncomfortable and forced a smile, dissimulating as she drank her beer. “...Or not? Sorry, I thought it was in your plans.”

“Yeah, clock's running girl, didn't you always want to get pregnant?” Whitney asked confused. Ashlyn nodded and shrugged.

“One thing is what I've always wanted and another thing is what I can and will do or not. But that's okay, I'm the happiest being Finley's Mum, is not like I don't have all I could possibly want. Anything else is just icing on the cake, extras.”

“I'm so confused. Don't tell me you can't have kids biologically?” Christen asked, suddenly worried her friend had some illness they didn't know, or internal injury from goalkeeping.

“It's not that entirely,” said Ashlyn with a sigh. “It's just... seeing Ali do these months and all, made me see I could never. And it's not a lack of confidence, I don't need a pep talk,” she hurried to say, leaning back on the sofa. “Both of my legs had ACL, my hips have also had their share of getting hurt to the point even to simply kick a ball far I have to be extra cautious, and then quad injury, knee... if I was pregnant with all that, I think by the time the sixth month came I'd be dying, not to mention the risk of extra injury would be too great, and then it'd affect the baby's safety. Besides, I'd have to retire because good luck going back to soccer after a pregnancy in that shape. No. It's better Ali does it, or we adopt, there are millions of kids dying for a family out there. Not to mention, how many keepers do you know who got pregnant? Briana Scurry, Erin McLeod, Jill Loyden, Nicole Barnhart, Stephanie Labbé... none. And so far not Alyssa either. As a matter of fact, not one goalkeeper in the entire NWSL has been pregnant. It's not like, the most usual of things, and I'm pretty sure if you take away those who simply aren't interested, the rest will do mention to body issues.”

“Now that you mention it...” Abby commented in realization.

“We could always keep you in a wheelchair whenever it gets too much,” Sydney suggested. “Or in bed, and we'd bring you anything you need.”

“Finn and I would spoil you rotten,” Ali added with a smirk. Ashlyn chuckled.

“Thanks, but it's all right. I get to play for a few more years and get some awards home, it's not too bad!”

The friends hung out the entire day, and at night, when bed time arrived, Ashlyn and Ali were actually dying for some bed time. They loved being with their friends, but they had just had a baby and any activity took a lot of energy from them. Finley had been fed and was sleeping, at least for the time being, and Ali snuggled into Ashlyn, wrapping an arm around her middle and pressing her face against the side of her breast with a puff, while Ashlyn lazily wrapped her arms around her.

“Y'know, Ash...”

“Mmm?”

“I'd take care of you.”

“What'ya talkin' 'bout?” Ashlyn murmured heavy with sleep.

“If you got pregnant, I'd take care of you. But whatever you decide, I'll always support you,” Ali promised. Ashlyn smiled, squeezing her gently and kissing the top of her head.

“Thanks babe, me too. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The next day was Finley's 1-week birthday, and also his very first visit to the paediatrician for his first revision and first vaccine. No one was, therefore, looking forward to that. Ashlyn begrudgingly accepted that their son ought to be vaccinated, at least if he was so young, but still felt like she was betraying him letting anybody hurt him.

“Ash, it's just a tiny needle, they'd be careful,” Ali said impatiently as Ashlyn manifested her reticence during breakfast.

“We should never be asked to let anyone hurt our son, even in the slightest. And besides, tiny needle? There isn't such a thing as 'tiny' needle, Alex.” Spoke the one afraid of every needle who wasn't for tattoos.

“Then we're going to let a doctor stab our child with a sword that's going to make him immune to worse things. I'd say it's not so bad,” Ali said with half a smile, fooling around. Ashlyn's eyes widened.

“Alex!”

After a 10 minute wait in the hospital, they were greeted by Finley's doctor, who was very satisfied with his current growth and development. Ashlyn was feeling lucky the boy had fallen asleep, thinking that the doctor wouldn't be so heartless to vaccinate him during his nap and wake him up, but they weren't that lucky. The doctor considered it was the perfect opportunity, and did the vaccine, which resulted on Finley waking up between Ali's arms and crying so tragically Ashlyn's heart shrunk and she almost cried as well, while Ali simply held him tighter, kissing him and telling him sweet nothings.

“Did you see that? We should put a complaint. The needle was HUGE and there was no need to be so rough! One inch more, and the needle would've come through! I bet he's going to bruise with such roughness,” Ashlyn complained over Finley's cries as they left the hospital. “My poor thing, we've never made him cry like that! And you tell me we have to do this for every single vaccine? He's going to end-up traumatized! We should change doctor, at le-,”

“Ashlyn,” Ali interrupted, losing her patience while trying to console Finley. “I love you, but right now you aren't helping. Could you please be quiet so Finley can calm down?”

The goalkeeper nodded, frowning, and they sat in the car while Ali brought Finley back to sleep, before putting him back in his car seat and driving away. Ashlyn drove in silence, not happy with his son's suffering, and Ali, who had sustained a headache from all the crying, tried to get some sleep as well.

Back at home, Finley was still sensitive and woke up crying while they were with lunch preparations, so Ashlyn took him to the nursery, sat on the rocking chair, and held him against her chest caressing his head and kissing the top of it while murmuring gentle words until he was deep asleep. Ashlyn enjoyed these moments the most, when it was just home, quiet and chill, and she could simply sit and be thankful for her life.

“Ash!” Ashlyn woke up with a startle, then Finley started crying, and Ali was taking him from her arms. “What the hell?”

“Alex, what're you doing?” Ashlyn asked sitting up as Ali paced around trying to calm Finley.

“You fell asleep sitting with him in your arms!”

“Yeah, so?”

“So? He could've fallen and be dead!”

“Alex, love I wasn't deep asleep, I would've felt it if he-,”

“Don't do it again,” Ali said sharply, and walked over to their bedroom so the baby could sleep in his crib once he calmed down. Ashlyn puffed and rolled eyes, stretching, before walking after Ali.

Finley was finally sleeping in his crib, and Ali was just about to walk out of the room, but not without glaring at Ashlyn and shaking her head disapprovingly before walking out the door. Ashlyn followed her.

“Babe, I wasn't going to drop him.”

“You were about to, and if you were going to react as fast as you reacted when I grabbed him, then he would've broken his head on the floor.”

“Oh, come on honey, you're exaggerating.”

“Exaggerating?” Fuck went through Ashlyn's mind as Ali turned around so suddenly they almost collided, giving her a murderous glare. “Worrying about you dropping our week old son is a exaggeration?” she inquired in a tone so cold and dangerous that Ashlyn felt chills through her body. “Perhaps we should throw a watermelon on your head to get an idea of what could've happened and make you more conscious of your son's safety!”

“Girls! Lunch!” Kyle called. Ashlyn gulped looking at Ali, deciding she wouldn't speak without a lawyer, and Ali glared at her one last time before going to have lunch.

“Everything all right?” Debbie asked as she watched them join her and her son for lunch. Ali had a furious expression she was trying to soften, and Ashlyn looked intimidated.

“Yeah, only that my wife thinks there's such a thing as exaggerating when it comes to our newborn's safety,” Ali said nonchalantly, but Ashlyn sighed.

“I fell asleep with Finley in my arms, sitting on the rocking chair of his bedroom. I was only lightly asleep, perfectly alert, but Alex insists that I could've let him him fall and broken his head. I was just saying she exaggerates a little.”

“Oh, well-,”

“Careful Mum, this is one of those situations without a correct answer,” Kyle warned his mother, interrupting her before she could bury herself.

“I was just going to say,” said Debbie diplomatic as ever, keeping a gentle tone, “that there's no need to stay angry, right? Ashlyn's learned her lesson, and besides, thinking about something that didn't happen and getting angry isn't going to be good for anyone.”

Ali let a breath out and frowned lightly.

“There wouldn't be a need if Ashlyn admitted she made a mistake, but all she does is put up excuses and say I'm exaggerating.”

“Because you are, Ali, and that's enough, seriously,” said Ashlyn impatiently. “Unless you have actual solid evidence that I was going to drop him, I don't fancy being accused of almost breaking our son's head, and besides, even if my arms had relaxed too much, his head was on my shoulder, he wasn't going to roll off, he doesn't even know how to roll. Most that could've happen is he slid onto my lap. Move on, will you?”

Ali scowled at her but shook her head and devoted to eating before going over to breastfeed Finley and lie down for a nap the moment he closed his eyes, because the doctor's advice was to sleep when the baby slept. Ashlyn also came over to follow the advice and found Ali curled on her side facing the crib, her eyes already closed. Ashlyn took off her shoes and curled behind her, wrapping her strong arms around her and sitting up a little so she could have a better look at Ali's face. She knew the defender was awake, because she felt her tension.

“You're such a bloody princess sometimes, you know?” Ashlyn said using an affectionate sweet voice, leaning to kiss her cheek. “So grumpy,” she added kissing down her jaw.

“Get off.”

“Not until you smile at me,” argued the goalkeeper. Ali's eyes opened and she looked mad at her.

“I've got like one hour left of sleep, and you're pissing me off.” Ashlyn simply leaned down and gave her the most passionate, intense, open mouthed kiss, supporting on her forearms to avoid squashing her while keeping her between her arms and legs. Ali felt the air sucked out of her lungs, yet attempted to reject her only to feel Ashlyn redouble her efforts. “Ash, stop it, you can't fix everything with kisses,” Ali argued using her hands to push her away and turning her face away. “Is it so hard to admit you made a mistake? Jesus, just admit it and that's it, I'm not even asking more.”

“If you really think I'm capable of letting our son fall and break his head,” Ashlyn murmured, moving out of the bed, “then yes, sorry, I made a mistake.”

She said it as she left the room, with a coldness contrasting the heated moment seconds before, and Ali puffed, letting her eyes close out of exhaustion, but already thinking on how to resolve the issue.

  
  


 


	7. You make me feel like...

**Chapter 7:You make me feel like...**

When Ali eventually went into the living room looking for her wife after a good nap, Kyle was lying on the sofa with Logan lazily watching TV while Debbie had a coffee sitting nearby and reading the newspaper. They both informed Ali that Ashlyn was at the gym, so Ali nodded and went to get Finley and sit down with them. Her wife didn't return for another three hours, when Ali was bathing and readying for bed and Kyle and Debbie were playing with Finley on the rug the living room had, cooing at him and using toys that made intense lights of different colours and funny noises, to stimulate him.

Ashlyn smiled seeing the baby trying to kick around and announced his intention to shower as well, as their shower had just stopped sounding, signalling Ali had probably just finished. She had to go through their bedroom to enter their bathroom, taking advantage to grab her pyjama to change into as well, and saw Ali was just changing clothes.

“How did the gym go?” Ali asked as she got dressed and Ashlyn grabbed her pyjamas. The younger woman didn't look at her.

“Okay,” Ashlyn replied simply, and entered the shower. Ali frowned slightly, but didn't think more of it and went off to play FIFA in the playstation with her brother.

In the shower, Ashlyn let a long breath out, trying to expel the heaviness in her chest as she pressed her forehead against the shower wall and let the warm water fall on her head and back. She knew she was struggling. She was feeling like Ali didn't trust her around their son completely, that Ali didn't think her mature and responsible enough for this, like she wasn't being good enough, like she was disappointing... but at the same time, she was doing so many things, and she knew it. She made breakfast, cooked as much as possible, cleaned the house, massaged Ali, changed nappy, attended whining Finley, was attentive, caring and loving with every family member, specially her wife and son... maybe it just wasn't enough for Princess Ali. Maybe she had realized that Ashlyn wasn't good enough for her. For them. But if she thought so, then she was being stupid, because Ashlyn was being perfect and she knew it. And Ali should trust her and know, simply know, she wasn't going to fuck this up, that she would never let Finley fall or let any of them get hurt under her watch... she shouldn't even question it. When had she failed? And hadn't Ashlyn trusted Ali blindly to care for their son, even when she did things she disapproved? Then Ali should as well, and the idea that she didn't, and that she thought her capable of making such mistakes with Finley infuriated her. All the anger she thought she had let go in the gym came back, and she clenched her teeth, feeling it become pain in her chest, feeling her hands clench and knowing all she could do was forget about it and gulp it, not expect an apology or a change, because Ali had coped with Finley for nine months and then pushed him out of her, and she should be grateful to the brunette. And if the older woman wanted to act like a jerk who was the only one capable of mothering Finley right and wanted to pretend Ashlyn was a sitter... she'd have to prove her wrong.

Once in her pyjamas, Ashlyn felt exhausted. She felt pissed she was falling in such cliché of matrimonial issues post-partum, but in the end all the emotions she had inside and didn't feel free to express just exhausted her inside, so she held back a yawn and as soon as she was ready, she walked into the kitchen, hearing the sounds of Ali and Kyle competing with FIFA. She had seen Finley sleeping in his crib, so guessed the family was done entertaining him now that he was passed out, and went straight to cook dinner. Coming from the Space Coast, Ashlyn was used to best-quality fish and cooked it better than anyone in the house, not to mention she was the most demanding with its quality, so she started preparing some fish for the oven, and once it was done, she poured herself a glass of whiskey, to which she had grown fond of in the last few years after getting educated about it, and sat on a kitchen stool staring at the oven, watching the fish and not feeling like joining the Kriegers.

“I won! Take that!” Ali yelled nearby, as the living area was right behind the one kitchen wall.

“You're so competitive,” Kyle commented laughing. “Well played!”

“Come on, I'm starving,” Ali said, and Ashlyn took a deep breath and kept her eyes fixed on the oven as she heard steps coming over. “Oh, you finished in the shower? Is that dinner?”

“Yeah, I bought a trout this morning,” Ashlyn answered in a tired voice, opening the oven a little to pretend she was making sure to check it properly. “It'll be ten minutes more or so.”

“Smells amazing, thank you darling,” said Debbie, looking through the glass of the oven. “That's a good look!”

“Good thing we have a fish specialist in the house,” Kyle said cheerfully.

“Yeah, I could open a bag of chips while we wait though,” Ali offered, and her stomach grumbled loudly in support, making Kyle and Debbie chuckled. “Sorry!”

“More than chips, get some fruit. It's healthier,” Kyle recommended. “Here, I'll cut it!”

In those moments Ashlyn had to remind herself strongly that all her thoughts were product of a bad mood, and that it wasn't okay to be judgemental with her wife. Because those were the moments when she thought how in her home when she was little, fresh fish was a luxury because it wasn't always affordable, and even less the huge sea trout she had bought, and that food in general was such a luxury most of the time that they didn't get to buy chips or fill their stomachs with anything while dinner was cooking, because if after how hard it was to bring dinner onto the table they went and left it on the plate because they filled their stomachs with chips or other low-quality stuff, their parents' hard-work and dedication to provide them a healthy diet would be for nothing. And in her bad mood, she used those thoughts to judge Ali wrong for even mentioning getting full on chips after all her hard work to bring her a fucking luxury onto the table, so their son, who ate from her body, had a luxury in his stomach as well, when if she was in a better mood those were thoughts that wouldn't even cross her mind.

Suddenly, she wasn't hungry. She had finished her whisky and had a pounding headache, and the night before Finley had interrupted their sleep at least five times. She was also sleepy because the quality of her sleep had changed; before, she slept very deeply and well, but since Finley came over, her sleep was alert and not so deep anymore.

“Actually, I'm more tired than hungry. This will be done in... five minutes,” Ashlyn checked her watch, getting up and putting her glass in the dishwasher. “You just have to take it out and eat it. Sweet dreams people.”

“You okay?” Ali asked with a scowl, finding her attitude so weird. She was in the best mood after having won over Kyle, and she wasn't even playing the USWNT, she was playing with Germany.

“I'm fine, just tired. Please enjoy the trout.”

Ashlyn flopped on the bed face first and almost immediately, she was fast asleep. It seemed to last only seconds, though, because suddenly she was wide awake, feeling just as tired if not more, and it was quite dark and Finley was whimpering a little.

“Sh... you're going to wake Mommy,” Ali's whisper came, and she noticed she was sitting on the verge of her side of the bed, behind Ashlyn, who faced her own side. “Come on, have some milk and let's go to sleep, okay? Oh, you had to poo, uh?”

“I'll change his nappy,” Ashlyn said sleepy, sitting up, and Ali jumped startled, not expecting her awake.

“Don't worry, go back to sleep, Ash,” Ali said softly. “I hadn't fallen asleep yet, it's fine.”

But Ashlyn wasn't listening, and was already up, turning the lamp by the changing table on, and finding a clean nappy.

“Does he also need another pj?” Ashlyn asked, her voice filled with exhaustion.

“No, it's okay. Ash, babe, really go back to sleep, I can take care of it.” So Ali's problems with Ashlyn were forgotten and gone with the wind. Well, Ashlyn had had a crappy day with her mind full of crappy thoughts thanks to her, so she was adamant on proving herself as many times as needed.

“I will do it,” Ashlyn said more firmly. “That way you can go back to sleep. Let's not argue on that too, shall we?”

“Fine,” Ali replied in a tone of surprise, not understanding where she was coming from in her sleepy state.

During the ten minutes it took to breastfeed until Finley simply fell asleep, they sat in silence in different verges of the bed. The only sounds came from Ali encouraging Finley and whispering nothings to him, and then she handed him over for a nappy change, as he was stinky. Ashlyn had the talent to change it without waking him up, using one of her big hands to hold his legs up by the ankles, and since she hadn't eaten since noon, her stomach didn't turn with the smell of poo. She made sure he was clean, kissed him goodnight, put him into his crib while Ali simply lied on the bed, and went to wash her hands when she returned, Ali gave her a quizzical look she ignored, and lied on her side as close as possible to her verge of the bed, after having turned all lights off again, and closed her eyes.

Soon, Ali moved to spoon her, but unlike most times, she wasn't able to relax into her touch. Her brain told her this was the woman who judged her, even if Ashlyn always tried to avoid judgement. This was the woman who didn't think she was good enough mother.

“I love you,” Ali whispered gently, brushing her hair aside to press her lips against the back of her neck for long few seconds, as her hand softly caressed her side up and down. “I know when something's not okay, Ash. And I'm here for you, okay? Whenever you're ready.”

Ashlyn clenched her jaw and glared at the closet in front of her. No, Ali wasn't there for her, whatever she said. Ali didn't trust her anymore. Ali judged her. Ali thought she wasn't good enough. And no matter what she did, it wasn't enough. Despite all she did Ali had still felt entitled to talk so roughly with her and argue, despite how hard she cooked Ali had still been willing to eat a bag of chips just because her food took to long, and despite what she said, she wasn't one Ashlyn could count on. Because if she did, Ali would get mad, turn things around and put her as the bad guy.

She shut her eyes closed feeling them become wet, and tried to feign sleep when Ali's hand travelled over her to caress her own closed hand, that rested tense and clenched on the mattress by her stomach. Now Ali knew she was very tense, but didn't relent.

“Is it because I got angry at you?” Ali whispered in the dark after a few moments, rubbing soothing circles with her thumb on her knuckles, that were getting white from how tight they were. Ashlyn didn't answer and Ali sighed, nuzzling between her shoulder blades. “I'm sorry I was so rough, it's true, I exaggerated. I should've just let it go instead of being unnecessarily tough with you for hours and hours. I'm very sorry.” She stayed in silence, but Ashlyn still didn't talk. Even if Ali had apologized for that one thing, that didn't change the fact that Ashlyn thought Ali didn't trust her with Finley, or thought she wasn't good enough, nor the fact that Ashlyn felt her efforts weren't being appreciated or considered good enough. So she remained quiet. “Ash? I know you're awake... can we please talk this out? What are you going to do instead, just stay angry at me until Finley learns to talk or something?” she asked with a hint of concern.

This was totally new for Ali. Ashlyn was the communications major, and she always wanted to talk. She asked strangers so many questions that it drove Ali crazy, and every little issue had to be talked about largely, which at first, in the early stages of their relationship, Ali had struggled with, unused to having to be vulnerable and talk about everything in detail, until it had become easier. But now, Ashlyn refused to talk, right when, after eleven years together, Ali didn't think she could surprise her with new, unknown behaviours. And she didn't know what to do save for waiting until the morning, but she couldn't.

“Ashlyn, when we married we agreed no going to bed furious at each other, so we need to talk. I'm not going to let you go to bed feeling so upset, you need proper rest. So please, please talk to me.”

Ashlyn took a deep breath and did her best to relax so she could pretend she had actually fallen asleep. She didn't want to listen to her anymore. But then Ali rolled out of bed and walked over to her side, sitting on the very verge, as there really wasn't much space with Ashlyn almost out of the bed, and turning the lamp on. The sudden light blinded Ashlyn, who couldn't help letting out a groan and squeezing her eyes closer before slowly opening them again, glaring at Ali, who frowned looking honestly sad and concerned. She had a hand on Ashlyn's arm gently, and stared at her.

“Come on, babes...”

“You said it yourself,” Ashlyn finally spoke, hoarse, furiously rolling out of bed through Ali's side. “I need to sleep. You're on your own.” And without another word, she left the room, avoiding a slam only out of consideration for their son.

 


	8. The importance of being teammates

**Chapter 8: The importance of being teammates.**

In the middle of the night, Ashlyn felt a gentle nudge as she lied on the sofa. She first thought it was just Logan, but was surprised by Ali's lips on hers, and she tasted salt, which indicated she'd been, or was, crying.

“Please come to bed with me,” Ali begged tearfully. In her sleep-induced state, Ashlyn agreed, but when five in the morning came, she was gone, a note stuck between their bedroom door and the frame that said simply: ' _It's 5.30 so I'm going to head to the gym and then I'll have time for some grocery shopping and still make it back early. x_ '

Ali, who woke-up around an hour later because of Finley, was surprised and started seriously worrying. Ashlyn wasn't one to hold grudges or resentment, and even less when she was so in love with Ali she could never stay mad. This was completely unlike her.

“Good morning!” Kyle smiled at his sister as she came into the kitchen at around past nine, bouncing Finley in one arm because he had woken-up crying for no reason than disturbance, fear or need for his mother's arms, and looking distressed.

“Good morning. Ashlyn!” Ali called, registering first the sofa, and then walking into the garage, adjacent, and seeing Ashlyn's BMW was gone. How long was she going to be gone for?

“All good?” Kyle asked, preparing coffee as he stood in his boxers in the middle of the kitchen. He was always encouraged to make himself at home.

“Ash is gone,” Ali stated. “She's still furious at me and last night she was awake, rigid from anger, and refused to say one single word to me. Not even shut up. Eventually after I apologized, and kept insisting we talked things out, she said she needed to sleep and that I was on my own tonight and went to the sofa. I managed to coax her back during the night, but she was gone before sunrise, according to a note went to the gym and grocery shopping, but hey, it's been hours.”

“Are we talking about the same Ashlyn?” Debbie came from the corridor in her pyjamas and covering a yawn with her mouth. “Good morning!”

“Morning Mum,” Kyle saluted.

“Good morning,” Ali greeted. Debbie smiled and took Finley from her.

“Where's the handsomest boy? You're so cute, why do you have that pissed face?” Debbie cooed at the baby, hugging him close.

“He's bothered, I checked if he was gassy, but he's not burping,” Ali sighed. “And Ashlyn's angry. Everybody's moody. Why are you guys up so early?”

“Darling, I'm a teacher, I can't help waking up early,” Debbie looked softly at her. “Why's Ashlyn angry?”

“'Cause Alex was mean,” Kyle said passing his mother a mug of coffee as the women sat together on the stools around the kitchen island. He simply impulsed himself to sit on the marble surface. “She was in a rough mood last night and didn't have dinner with us, and now she's left to the gym and for what I see, either she's super clean making breakfast or she hasn't. I agree you were bitchy, but I think she may be exaggerating now...”

“You're both sleep deprived, emotions can get a little out of control when one's tired and stressed,” Debbie said calmly, always understanding. “I bet she's sadder than angry. She tries so hard and has been so all over the place to be one step ahead all the time and take care of everything, that seeing you get so pissed at her yesterday maybe made her feel it was all for nothing or like she wasn't enough. We're talking about someone who struggles with anxiety and depression.”

“True,” Kyle had to agree. “Gosh, Mum, you're so good at this.”

“She is,” Ali puffed, starting to make toasts to keep herself busy. “I know Ashlyn's more upset than angry, I could feel it, but what do I do? I apologized, I tried to talk... Ashlyn always wants to talk, eleven years and not once has she refused talking. She's always adamant on fixing things before bed, always completely against people who leave just to avoid an issue... and now she's doing all she's against? I mean...”

“You sure all you did yesterday was yell at her?” Debbie asked as they started to eat, keeping Finley in one arm with expertise. Ali stood up to feed Logan and returned, looking guilty.

“No. She came to my nap to try and fix things with kisses,” Kyle groaned, knowing that was a bad idea. “See? You know it was a bad idea, why didn't she? Just pissed me off more and made me meaner.”

The front door opened and they looked up to see Ashlyn entering the room with her gym back on one shoulder, wet hair, and a cloth bag of the ones they used to do the shopping.

“Good morning,” Ashlyn saluted surprisingly cheerfully looking up at them. She had bags under her eyes, but otherwise looked just fine. Ali rushed to her and kissed her intensely.

“Don't you leave like that again,” Ali said hugging her.

“Like that?” Ashlyn frowned, confused, standing with both big bags, one in each hand, trying not to drop anything.

“So early, clearly avoiding me and just leaving a note. I was worried.”

“Clearly avoid...” Ashlyn closed her eyes briefly, puffing in exasperation. “Why in hell would I wake up at five on my own free will just to avoid you?” she was almost angry Ali thought she was so childish.

“Well I thought it was odd, but the note said it was half past five and-”

“And obviously I had to be avoiding you,” Ashlyn dropped her gym bag to the floor and set the other on top of the kitchen island, “I mean, it'd make sense if you hadn't known me for eleven years and knew perfectly well that's the kind of thing that gets in my nerves enough to completely refuse to do it, but well...” she commented annoyed.

“Okay, excuse me, what else should I think, Ash?” Ali looked at her utterly confused. “Why did you go so early then, uh?”

“Maybe because I'm one hell of a mother and wife?” she puffed, shaking her head. “I woke up to change Finley's nappy because he tends to do his first poo of the day around the same hour, and after you woke me up last night and I knew you hadn't slept well, I figured I'd set my alarm around the time he does it, so when he indeed pooed, I was just getting dressed and could change him before he woke you up. And then I figured because of the time I could take advantage of those early morning hours in which he's usually calmer and go to the gym because I need to go every day if I don't want to lose the rhythm for work, and I know it's better I go super early when Finley is half asleep than later in the day when he's more active. Then, the closest 24h pharmacy is right by the gym as well, so I thought I could kill two birds at once and since I was going to train I could also fetch some stuff from the pharmacy in the way out, so I got you that nipple pomade the doctor recommended you yesterday and we forgot to buy because first Finn was upset and then we were busy fighting and I was meaning to buy yesterday on my way back from the gym but forgot, and I remembered we're running out of pads so I also got you some, of those you like extra soft that we can only find in that pharmacy, and when I was done with that I went to get muffins for breakfast because I knew you'd be just waking up, so while I did that I also remembered to buy the day's newspaper and bread, because you like morning warm bread, and I don't care about eating yesterday's leftover. I also saw Finley's nappies were on offer, so I got a bunch too, because they're always welcomed. That's all that I was doing Ali, and if I didn't get up exaggeratedly early, I wouldn't be able to get so much done and still be here for Finley's fussiest morning hours.”

Her family stared at her in disbelief, but she simply opened the bag and pulled out the newspaper, the box of just-made muffins, the ones Ali liked most, she knew, and the just-made bread, and then a smaller pharmacy box she put aside. She took the pack of nappies and the one of pads and took them to the bathroom while Ali observed, shocked, and then returned to put everything else away.

“I feel so underachieved right now,” Kyle commented, smiling at Ashlyn, who smiled back. “Coffee?”

“Please yes, thank you.”

“I'm sorry,” Ali said, grabbing Ashlyn's arm. “You were just so pissed last night I thought... look, I'm sorry. You're a wonderful wife and mum, and I suck, and we'd be damned without you.”

“No you don't suck,” Ashlyn said softly, flopping on a stool and sipping from her coffee. “You're a bloody nightmare, but,” she put her coffee aside and looked at Ali, who stood in front of her looking sad, “you're also my wife, and Finley's Mama, and we need you and love you. I'm sorry I wasn't careful enough with Finley and I'm sorry I wasn't receptive last night, but you were pushing and pushing, and as much as I know I would've done the exact same, I needed some time and space and you were making me more anxio- don't apologize.” She interrupted herself and raised a warning finger. “We're just going a bit insane, but it's week one, we could be way worse.”

“Permission to be hormonal and cry,” Ali murmured, looking down. Ashlyn opened her arms and pulled her between her legs to hug her while she did, in fact, cry over her shoulder.

“So,” Ashlyn looked at the others, wrapping her arms around her wife. “How's it going?”

Since she had awoken so early, Ashlyn pretty much went for a nap right after breakfast, and Ali lied on the bed on top of her, kissing her and telling her how much she loved and how grateful she was for her over and over and over, no matter how much Ashlyn said it was okay. The younger woman wrapped her arms tight around her and they both fell asleep for an hour. When Ali woke up, Ashlyn was already awake and staring at the ceiling, but looked down at her with a small smile.

“How do you always look so gorgeous?” Ali inquired with a smirk.

“You ask _me_? Look at yourself!” they kissed softly. Ashlyn still had things going in her mind, but she wondered if maybe it wasn't better to just shut up and enjoy how nice it was now with Ali.

“I wanna talk to you,” said Ali rolling off Ashlyn, but keeping an arm around her waist.

“We're talking,” Ashlyn kissed her again, more intensely. “Too much, as a matter of fact...” she added with a wink.

“I'm serious, Ash,” Ali stopped her before she could start a full make-out session. She put a finger on Ashlyn's lips, brushing there softly. “I have a feeling that you were upset for things beyond me getting pissed at you. I want to know what you were thinking to be so upset, you fight depression and anxiety every day and if I stuck my foot deep without realizing, I want to know. I don't want to hurt you like that.”

Ashlyn, understanding the kissing was over for now, nodded slowly and faced the fan as she thought of how to put her words properly, keeping a hand over the one Ali had on her belly.

“Look, uh... you've done so much for us to have Finley. You talk about how I put on some injections, but Alex, you got some too, and then you got inseminated, and you had to quit the National Team for this, you had to quit soccer altogether for this whole year, and I saw you go through this whole pregnancy like a champ. Even when people commented whether it wasn't too risky to get pregnant at your age, you proved time and time again you could do this, and I saw you get up and go to the gym and stay fit day after day even when you were all swollen from head to toe towards the end... you've taken such good care of Finley for all those months and I'm just... learning now. I could barely do anything for months and months and now I want to make myself useful and get fast at learning our son and doing every single thing he or you need.”

“Babe, but you've done so much, and you keep on doing so much, I don't think anyone has been able to master this thing with such skill ever before in history,” Ali reassured her. “You make it look easy. You barely sleep, you bust your ass for us, I can barely go on a long stroll without feeling exhausted and you get the world done before it's even a decent hour to be up. In fact, I think you should relax a little, because you're already perfect, there's no need to try so hard and I don't want you getting sick because you overdo it. I hate to see you miserable when you're sick.” Ali kissed her cheek softly.

“I know,” Ashlyn shrugged. “It's just that... yesterday I felt you didn't think I was good enough for him, or capable enough, so...”

“Why would you feel that?”

“How wouldn't I? You questioned my parenting ability, Alex, and I know it was with one super little thing so maybe I'm exaggerating, but you got so angry, for such a long time, and so worked-up, it made me feel like you weren't just being upset for one little thing, but for the entire toll of things I do or don't do. Seeing it was such a big deal for you... I wondered if that was because you were questioning the whole thing altogether, doubting whether having a child with me was the right choice, and I ended-up feeling like... like for you, Finley's your baby, that you've taken care of for so long now you don't want me to go and fuck it, and like I'm just like a babysitter, like you don't think I care as much or am as capable as you. And okay, I've still got a lot to learn about motherhood, and I admit you're ten steps ahead of me, but... if you make a big deal of something tiny, I will as well because I'm going to do everything to try to explain it and search for bigger reasons to explain such a big level of anger. And I found them. You're disappointed, you don't trust me, you're judging my parenthood-,”

“Ash, Ash, stop,” Ali said softly. “That's not true, look, I just exaggerated big time, period. There was no reason for me to get more than a little bit pissed, so all of those you found, those are just in your head, not in mine. They're not real, Ash.”

“But I almost dropped Finley, you thought I was capable of that, then even thought I was gone a bunch of hours and you knew we weren't okay, you didn't even bother to talk things out, you could just switch it off and go play FIFA, then my dinner was too slow for your appetite, I left without dinner because I was so bloody upset I couldn't even eat, and you didn't even think of coming and talking things out until bloody middle of the night, Alex, and then this morning you were already thinking so low of me to think I could just be so angry to leave my family just to go to the gym when they need me-,”

“But you left yesterday to the gym in the middle of the day when we need you most, precisely what today you wanted to avoid leaving early-”

“I left because I needed to blow off some stea-,”

“Which is what I thought you needed this morning as well. And taking in consideration that last night you went to sleep on the sof-,”

“Because you were asphyxiating me...”

“Since when do I asphyxiate you?” they stared at each other at a loss of words and Ali sat hugging her knees, pressing her cheek against them and looking down at Ashlyn. “Honey, I'm sorry yesterday I completely sucked as a wife, but I had my reasons, okay? I'm not excusing myself, and I'll do my best not to do it again, but I couldn't talk things out while I was pissed and trying to figure out why I was so pissed, so I played FIFA to relax a little, which hey, half worked. I didn't go after you during dinner because I knew you were tired and I figured we could talk in the morning, but when I saw later how upset you were I realized it was more than I had thought and I couldn't stand to see you like that and do nothing. I know the hour sucked, and okay, I can even get why you'd go to the sofa. But you could also understand this morning it wasn't about doubting you, or thinking low of you... to me, if you had gone off to the gym or anywhere else just because you were so upset you couldn't stand being home, and had come back empty-handed and upset, I wouldn't have felt like you were disappointing or falling low or anything. I would've felt worried, but I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to love you. And I had very logical reasons to think you just couldn't be here.”

Ashlyn frowned lightly and shrugged, looking at her feet.

“I guess I was so caught-up thinking low of you I thought you'd be thinking low of me. What a joke, uh? I was the judgemental one in the end. I'm sorry.”

“If I had managed things differently yesterday, you wouldn't have had to feel all the things that brought us to this mess,” Ali said simply, reaching a hand to caress her face. “So, to get to the chore of it all... Ashlyn, believe me, I have absolutely no doubt that I couldn't have found a better person in the universe to have a child with. I love you, and I know Finley loves you so much already, he was upset this morning when he didn't see you around.”

“I bet he was just gassy,” Ashlyn said with a half chuckle.

“I'm sure he was just wondering where Mommy was, because you're his favourite.” Ali smiled warmly at her.

“That's not true.”

“Oh, it is. He's going to grow-up and look up to you so much, and I'm gonna be so proud if he becomes half the good person you are, which I'm sure he'll do because he's got your blood. You're such a role model, and I trust you so much Ashlyn, believe it or not... I wouldn't have had a child with you if I wasn't sure you were the one. I wouldn't have married you either, silly girl. Finley is my whole life, I could only trust him to you. You're my best teammate, who else?”

“Then why did you overreact so much?”

“For the same reason you did,” Ali smiled. “Because we're bloody tired, because we're anxious, and worried, and bloody competitive trying to be better than every mother in the world, and because we love Finley so much we obsess about every little thing. Add I'm hormonal as hell, and my body's a changing mess, and you've got a Molotov cocktail I'm so sorry for.”

“Don't be,” Ashlyn sat up as well, putting her arms around her and kissing her cheek. “If that's the price for having Finley with us, I'll take it all. I'm sorry I just-”

“Let's stop apologizing for today, uh?” Ali caressed her cheek and leaned to kiss her, wrapping her arms around her neck and pressing their foreheads together. “You wanna know why I'm so confident on your mother abilities?”

“Duh, because I'm the best at everything I do ever since always. Top grades, Olympian, married the best princess out there...” Ashlyn joked smugly, and Ali laughed softly.

“Yes, but also,” Ali pecked her lips once more. “Because you know better than any of us what it feels like to have a shitty parent. I love your parents, I really do, but I still remember how sad I was when you told me how they went off to do drugs and alcohol and neglected you both and left you alone with the divorce and all... and you don't judge them one bit, but internally I was just comparing that with how my parents made sure we were happy through divorce messes. How my Mum held it all in for us and put us first and they worked on getting along as fast as possible for us, and how the minute my Dad found a place to live, he was organizing weekend getaways with us and camping in the mountains and just making sure we were okay. No one went off drinking and doing drugs. I'm a good mother following their example, you're a good mother following the example of what not to do, and I know if our son is ever problematic and goes off and gets high and whatever... you'll be the first one to know what do do. When the worst comes, you'll be the one who will really know what to do. You're a mom ready for fucking everything... I'll just follow your example.”

Ashlyn took a look at Finley sleeping in his crib, and shook his head.

“I'll never let him fall off the wagon,” she murmured, tightening her arms around Ali. “Come here my Molotov girl, I like the big thrills.” Ali laughed, hugging her tighly.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, my teammate.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all! you may bookmark to get told if i decide to add chapters!


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